Colson's Minecraft Adventures

Colson is obsessed with Minecraft. I bought him the game for his birthday, after he'd been talking about it for months. He talked about it so much that every time Ava heard the word "Minecraft" come out of his mouth, she'd slap herself in the forehead.

He's been watching these videos on YouTube that are about a family who plays Minecraft together. They talk through what they're doing. Here's one of them:




Well, I got Colson a video camera for Christmas. He decided he wanted to start making his own Minecraft videos. This is his first one. He's made changes to the format since this one, but he wanted to still keep them in order. Zach and Ava add commentary throughout. All 3 kids are talking about becoming "famous on YouTube".

Agent E

I found this chat between Ava and my oldest brother Eric. I laughed until I cried. She was on a ROLL.




me: Dear Mr. Eric, You are a spy.
 You have 2 new spy friends named Amy and Brooke
 Make sure they are OK Agent A I mean Signed, Agent A (You are Agent E)
 (Brooke is agent B) (Amy is agent AA) (No I am AA Amy is A because I have 2 A's in my name)

 ARE YOU CLEAR?????????????

  Eric: Sorry, I'm Zeno.

  me: AM I CLEAR????????????

  Eric: Don't bother me. I'm buying beer.

  me: I AM QUEEN AVA x-( HOW DARE YOU!

  Eric: Did.

  me: GUARDS! TAKE HIM AWAY! TO THE DUNGEON! FOREVER! HIM! OVER THERE!

 What do you mean you cannot? He's what? In the computer?

 WHAT SECRET DEVICE IS THIS THING? (knocks on screen)

 Tell me your secret, Agent E!!!

  Eric: He's in the Google Nexus Prime.

  me: Whaa? Google Nebix Preez? Google....Nexus...Prime?

 TELL ME HOW YOU....you...umm....

TELL ME YOUR POTIONS, ON HOW YOU DID IT, AGENT E! x-( Or there will be consequences :-|

Guards! Get ready just in case. (Smiles an evil smile)

  Eric: I spitteth on your agents.

  me: You, WHAT????? spitteth? what is that? TELL ME!!!!!!

OR THE CONSEQUENCE! x-( ehem.

 I'm waiting. you shall have 25 seconds.

 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 10 9 8

 SEVEN SIX!!!!!! FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Three seconds sir!!! x-( THREE!!!!!!!

 Guards! Get ready! And slow down the timer to 2 minutes instead of seconds.

Wahahahaha!! You have 2 min. to tell me. Yell when.

Wahahahaha! Oh, stay in the dungeon until that happens.

Wahahahaha, Wahahhahaha! (While you are in the dungeon)

 Guards You have 60......what? No, not that, that happend a century ago, it cannot hapen again happen

 Well......huh? Get all the nobles Rise and go (walks and sits in throne)

 (Taps fingers on chair) Nobles!!! x-( Rise Tell me Is this talk about the macadam supper really true?

 Macenzee.......What? No! No, of course not. Yes, well it's...........nuhuh.

 (Calls for Guards) Kate just made a big mistake.

Take her down to the cellar. And use the chopstick multi power Please.

X-( x-( (coughs) Leave my sight nobles, except Molly.

 Ahem. Molly, you are now moving up to the next level. now you are affitially a grand noble.

 (Molly bows and thanks Queen Ava) Rise, My Fellow.

 Now leave, go study Agent E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cummere! x-( Guards! GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Arise and go get Agent E!! (They come back with Agent E)

 Agent E, are you ready to tell me? Ye spitteth?

 AGENT E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 TAKE HIM TO THE CELLAR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 x-( AGENT E YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

 Sigh* Let me email another Agent

 Bonnie? Andrew? Bethany? Daddy? Jan? Colson? Brianne? Bob? Zachary? Pop?

 Let me do Agent C for, COLSON!!!!!!!!!! 8 minutes

  me: There agent C will be here any time now Guards! Get Agent E... B-)

 Agent E......of course!!! I was expecting you.

 Tell me your passcode Don't worry, no harm will be done, just need your passcode!

  Eric: Sorry, I just got back from Peru. I locked your guards up in Machu Pichu.

  me: :-o Whaa? Ahem. Those were just my guards, honey. :)

 I have knight, nobles, and other Agents :):) knights Knights!

  Eric: Days!

  me: Knights cummere! What...Agent E.......what are days....not days as in sun, clouds, daytime day........

Knights with a K not nights with a N Knight Caleb!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Get Professer Herbin

 Wait a moment Agent E hmm huh hmm hmm

 While he is gone.... (Pulls out sword from pocket) lol Puts up to Agent E's neck TELL ME YOUR PASSCODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Heeheehee NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 IS IT 557w20hkn02wq7????

 IS IT W2757365HFJHRYGNED848576NDHF???

 JEFJKERUYGEJH9547676947O96493769476KDFGJKL8954IO6JF89TJRUITGHERTUI?????????????

 TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! throws sword onto grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddd KNIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL IM' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 They fight with Agent E 2 knights die no wait no one dies

Agent E picks up sword from the ground NOW 2 knights die Go Knights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Another knight dies

 a horse dies

 A man dies

 3 knights die

 Another 5 knights join

 Some nobles are cheering for Agent E so they start fighting the knights 3 to be exact

 A noble dies

 2 Knights die

 Queen Ava Escapes

The pastor gets murdured no just kidding lol

 another knight dies

 5 more nobles join

 2 knights join

 a noble dies

 Agent E looses a finger

 A noble dies

3 knights join

 a knight dies

 2 nobles join

a knight die s

 A horse dies

a man falls off his horse this man dies

 a noble dies

 end of war :) u won

 Pastor comes into lobby and sees all the dead people then he sees Agent E

 He runs away

Queen Ava looks into the room

Uh oh She says

She runs downstairs

UCWDC Worlds From Your Bedroom

For those who are interested in watching the UCWDC World Championships next week, Globaldancetv is offering access for $24.95. The videos won't be live, but they post them fairly quickly after each session is complete. You have access to all the videos until the end of February. If you do end up buying access, I will be dancing in the following sessions:

ProAm Newcomer with Stan, Tuesday 9a-2p
ProPro Classic with Solomon, Tuesday 6:30-10p
ProAm Novice with Paul, Wednesday 10a-2p

And the big one, Masters Classic with Richard, Friday night at 10. You will also see Clive and Emily in this session

Masters Showcase is on Saturday night at 9:30, don't miss that one either! You get to see my besties John and Antoinette in this session, as well as Marc and Sylvie.

More sessions that will be exciting:
Div.1 on Saturday at 12:30. Div. 1 is going to be HOT this year, lots of interesting couples! I'm rooting for Rodney and Shannon Berry, I die for her style. Michael and Penny will be hard to beat though, they're both former Masters/Masters qualified.

Line Dance Superstars, Thursday night at 8. DEFINITELY not to be missed! Clive Stevens is back for his last hurrah at Superstars! He's dancing a farewell solo, even I haven't seen it yet. And Emily Drinkall will be kicking Female Superstar tail, you won't be able to keep your eyes off of her.

ProAm Female Advanced on Friday morning at 9, these girls are NOT messing around.

The variety show is at 7:30 on Saturday night.

I Can't See That

Ava put this sign up near the Christmas tree a few days after we put the tree up.

Apparently the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" horrified her, and she needed to make sure it didn't happen in her house.

Shady Maple!

Nothing says Christmas Eve like Amish food. So we're off to the Shady Maple Smorgasbord!

We Prefer Coarsely Chopped Words Over Minced Ones

Found this funny instant message exchange between my daughter and my mother (who works at a cemetery). Just to let everyone know I come by my strangeness naturally.

Ava: whatcha doin?
Jan: burying people

I Can't Read The Directions For Putting Together New Mom!

My brother Andrew sent an email to my daughter yesterday.

Say hey ... when are you coming over to spend the night w/ Robert and us? 

Its like, you haven't been here since you were the age you were before your last birthday ... and that's a really long, long, long time ago, don'tchya think? I mean, come on already ... enough's enough.

Its about time you walk up to your mother dear and say, "Mom, when can I spend the night and Andrew, Kathy, and Robert's home? Its like you won't let me go anymore. Please, please, please, pretty please with non-cancer enfused sugary sweetener on top?"

That should work ...

If not ... then ask your dad to replace her. IKEA has a sale on recycled moms after Christmas.

No wonder he's all the Lewis grandkids' favorite uncle.

Double Trouble

My firstborn turns 10 today. We enter the era of double digits. 

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Remember Rolf Harris? I posted about his Australian amazingness awhile back. Well, the kids' favorite song of his is King Caractacus.




The kids were singing their favorite line of the song, the last one, in the car. I had to videotape it. Cole does it best, Zach just "mm hmmm mmm"'s along until the end.

Did I Just See A White Elephant???

It's Mosley Cocktail Party 2011 time!

Will this happen again tonight???!?!

This pic is to remind Brooke that she was hot before, and will be hot again in no time at all... ;)

Ava's latest portraits.

Not A Namesake, But A Facesake

So Zach looks just like Eric, Ava looks just like me, but who does Colson look like? Sure, he's got some Eric traits and some Suzanne traits, but who does he look the most like? Here's your answer: MY MOTHER! I mean, the likeness is astounding...he's got deeper set eyes and downturned eyebrows, like Eric, but otherwise he's my mother reincarnated.

Reason Is So Maddening

Zachary got mad at Ava yesterday and yelled at her, "YOUR BUTT SMELLS LIKE POOP!"

She very calmly responded, "It's supposed to".

He got so mad he ran into his room, slammed his door and proceeded to bang his head against it for 10 minutes. He hasn't quite realized that "getting to Ava" requires way more forethought.

The unsalted peanut has finally arrived! Welcome, Charlotte Ruth Smyth!

You Sunk My Battleship!

It's Andrew and Suzanne, all over again..........

Older And Better

Happy birthday to the sweetest, smartest, sexiest 43 year old around.

Zach and his best friend Luke. Out of control.

Stupidest Christmas Tree

Last year around Christmas I went into Wawa to grab something. While I was in there I heard the most annoying Christmas song playing over the loudspeakers. I got back in the car with the kids muttering about the annoying song. They asked me what it was, and made me sing it to them. They laughed so hard at the song that I went on to iTunes on my phone and downloaded the song for them.

It has now become their favorite Christmas song of all time. So I give you Nat King Cole's Happiest Christmas Tree. You'll be bashing yourself in the head with a hammer in 8 hours when you can't get it out of your head....

Merry Christmas

King Solomon's Waltz

Solomon, who competes in the ProPro division with me, took first place in every dance in Birmingham this past weekend. My favorite of our dances by far was our waltz.

Monday Mornings With Zachary, Featuring Gavin Tygh!

Be sure to watch Melissa's son Gavin help his Pop Warner football team advance to the next round in Florida!

Ava's Fashions

Red turtleneck and tights with a black and white plaid skort. What could be Christmasier? Somehow it morphed into a white shirt later in that day; I'm assuming I was being a spaz about not getting the white shirt dirty.

Tables Of Cards

The only reason Colson and Gavin like when Melissa and I want to go to Chili's.

The Daily Ava Report

The other day Ava was playing Newscaster Barbies in the hallway. I overheard her interviewing one of her barbies, who had survived an explosion. Explosion Survivor Barbie told this sad story:

My brother died in the explosion because he was allergic to fire, but I didn't care because I didn't like him anyway. My parents didn't love him either, because he was so darn dumb. After he died the doctors cut open his head and found there was no brain. We were not surprised.

Dancin' In Dixie, & How-Tos For The Weekend

Headed to Birmingham today for the Christmas In Dixie event. Haven't been to this event since I lived in Nashville many years ago. Should be a fun event, lots of my favorite dancers will be in attendance.

In other news, this video is for Eric, a little reminder of how to do Ava's hair this weekend.

And, in case anyone needs this information, how to work Zachary's nebulizer to do his breathing treatments.

In other dance related news, I came across these old photos of Richard and I. Um, how skinny were we?? I forwarded them to Richard, he asked, "Good lord, what were we doing back then to look so thin?"

Being young, Richard....being young.....

Swallow, Fido!

My friend John Burns has many quirks. I could blog for a year and still not hit on them all. But here's a fun one: he can't swallow a pill! He has to chew them up with water for a LOOONG time. I had to get video proof. By the time I started this video, he'd already finished one and had two more to take. Yes, 1:44 is how long it took him to take two pills. I kept wanting to do the dog thing where you put the pill way down in a dog's throat and then rub its throat up and down real hard to make it swallow....

I heart John Burns.

The Red Of The Gods

Okay, this is why most women hate Melissa. I've told you about her always finding the perfect everything. Well, she walked in to a diner the other day with this on her fingernails...THE PERFECT SHADE OF RED POLISH FOR A BLONDE! You know how hard that is to find?? It made me want to slap her 7 times across the face.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach stole Eric's phone and iMessaged me on Saturday after his basketball class.

This is Zach. basticbol was god!!!! :-)

I will forever and always call it basticbol.

WILL IT EVER END???

Sometimes ProAm sessions last so long Richard goes crazy, grabs my undergarments and runs around with them on his head...

Bigotry Is Born When We Add Modifiers

"Or as I like to call it, Friday...."

I Thank The Bank For The Money, Thank God For You

(The title? Come on y'all, vintage Sawyer Brown!)


While I'm most grateful for this cute bunch today, I'd like to take a minute to be grateful for my friends. Oh yes, I have a few of them, don't look so shocked...

First, the original and still the best, Melissa. She's the devil on my left AND the angel on my right. How else would she be able to stick around so long...


While changing their dirty diapers, I never thought that my 4 oldest nieces would grow up to be 4 of my best friends, but here we are.

the one I'd go on a field trip with any day of the week, Bonnie May

the one I love getting late night calls from, Brianne Elizabeth

the one who knows what I look like doing "Superman! BANANA!", Brooke Suzanne

and the one who feels my sweat pain, Bethany Gates.

My dance partner Richard, who became one of my best friends our first Christmas as partners when he looked at me and said, "So...I like you, you like me, we don't have to get gifts for each other, right?" And then solidified our friendship when he later said, "Um, my dead gramma in her casket can spin faster than you." And his partner Solomon, who is wickedly intelligent but still treats me like a goddess. Bizarre, I know.

Hold on, I'm going to go so far as to add two more, who over the past year have become peas to my carrots. Everyone's Sugar Daddy, John Burns, who makes this list not just because his grammar is as good as mine, but because he gets me even though he doesn't like to admit it. (I'd add his wife Karen to this list but she's prettier than I, so screw that idea...)

..and the beautiful Antoinette Santoro, who makes me laugh for real, not the fake laugh that I usually use around most of you. Her sense of humor is so much larger than her chest, thank goodness, which is basically just average....

There! See? I have friends!

(Now, to hope that none of these people comment on this post with, "What? Who are you? Do I know you??")

Bethany Has Arrived

Maybe it's too soon, but even propriety can't hold funny back...a conversation from last week, between EMo, myself and Bethany:

Me: I had a light lunch today so I could pig out today.

EMo: Ugh, not me. I had a huge lunch. I went to this burger joint and had this amazing burger called a "Penn State" burger. Do you want to know what it had on it?

Me: Um, young boys?

EMo: Ha ha very funny, no.

(At this point I iMessaged Bethany, a Penn State grad, into our conversation. I repeated the previous exchange to her, asking her if it was too soon. She replied:)

Beth: Bah. And I do still want to know what was on the burger.

Me: Ok, to start with, 2 hamburger patties. DIPPED IN BATTER AND DEEP FRIED.

Beth: Ugh, gross. So the Penn State connection is what? The shame you feel after?

EMo and I erupted in laughter. EMo, from whom a compliment, especially one that is richly deserved, is never given, said, "She's funny!" (I think that was the most commas I've ever put into one sentence.)

Pianist

The New Girl, on Fox. I love it. This scene where one of her roommates is trying to get Jess to say the word penis made me laugh out loud more than once. She had accidentally seen him naked and wanted him to have a mature conversation about it.

Ava's Fashions

Brown and pink, a combination that can't be beat. Especially cute in a family photo.

Who Needs Sleep?

Pre-Pink Pajama Sleepover party last night. Ava, Sophia and I, waiting for the crowd of girls to arrive.

It's Not The Size Of The Package

My smallest baby, weighing in at a petite 9lbs 14oz, turns 9 today. Turns out good things come in big packages too.

Accountability Is Not About Fault

I like how my brother Eric relates the Joe Paterno PSU situation to his experience in the Navy.

Accountability's not about fault. Drilled into my head in the Navy. You get to be the captain of a Navy vessel, you get lots of perks. But when it runs aground, they don't ask questions; you're gone. The captain knows, he immediately starts packing his bags. If it happens on your watch, you own it. Of course the flip side was true... any & all good things that happen accrue to you. That's the deal JoePa made, and he was compensated quite nicely. Now it's time to pay the piper. - Eric Lewis

Nothing Says Football Like Phil Collins

Eagles/Bears game last night. Just before the game starts and in between quarters, party music is pumped through the stadium. Usually classic 80s rock anthems and such. Last night, just after a high point in the game, a touchdown maybe, the music starts blasting again. But something was off. I almost snorted by Diet Pepsi when Eric turned to me and said:

"Ah, a little "In The Air Tonight" always gets me pumped up."

Truths

2011 is going to go down in my personal history as being the year I finally dealt with and SAID the truth. Truth. With nothing else. Just truth. Not truth "as I see it". Not truth covered by hate and anger and happiness and love, but just truth. Black and white. Calling things what they are. Ducks ducks, and spades spades, and pedophiles pedophiles. Here are a just a few of those truths:

• Do you know what's scarier than monsters, especially to a kid? For everyone else around them to call that monster a nice person. That's a guaranteed way to make that kid's brain mush for a nice long time.

• It's not un-Christian to say true things.

• It's not un-Christian to be loyal to one person over another.

• Forgiveness and trust are not and should not be synonymous.

• Forgiveness and physical proximity do not have to go together.

• Life is about choices. This or That. One or The Other. Yes or No. Choosing "both" is the same as not choosing. It's weak, and while it may seem like a lovely option in the beginning, will always lead to pain in the end.

Monday Mornings With Zachary, Featuring Eric

At the Eagles/Cowboys game on October 30th, with my student Stan and his wife Barb. That big smile on Eric's face while he sings is the reason I hightailed it from Panama City through 4 airports to get him to that game.

Variations On A Theme

My next dance competition is in Birmingham the first weekend in December. We Pros were asked to send in workshop titles that had a Christmas theme. Unbeknownst to each other, Solomon and I had sent in workshop titles based around Christmas songs (shock). We shared our titles with each other, and then spent at least 15 minutes shooting other titles at each other, spiraling deeper and deeper into our Word Lover's Hell, as we often do....

Solomon: My workshop titles for Christmas In Dixie are:
Do You Hear What I Hear? Finding the Rhythm in your Cha-Cha
O Little Waltz of Birmingham

me: lol
Mine were Two Steppin' Around The Christmas Tree
and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like East Coast

Solomon: I love it

me: great minds

Solomon: I was trying to think of something with What Child is this
Like "What West Coast is This?"
But I thought it might be too obtuse

me: yes

Solomon: There was also "Triple Two is Coming to Town"

me: lol

Solomon: Oh Holy Lead
Jesus Christ, you call that Night Club?

me: Come, They Told Me Po-po-po-po Polka

Solomon: Shall I Schottiche for you?
Oh Come All Ye Pony Swingers

me: lol
lol

Solomon: We Need A Little Compression

me: LOL

Solomon: Hark the Heralds Like to Swing

me: LOL
I'm Dreaming of The Right Footwork
I Saw Mommy Leading Santa Claus

Solomon: I'm scaring my dogs with my laughter right now

me: Lol

Solomon: Waltzing in a Winter Wonderland
We'll Night Club 2 Christmas
Dreidl, Dreidl, Dreidl, a class on turn technique

me: All I Want For Christmas Is To Not Be Pulled

Solomon: All I want for Christmas is for you to move when you're supposed to
:P

me: Lolplolololol
I'll Be Balanced For Christmas

Solomon: Joy to the world, you didn't fall

me: LOLOLOL
Deck The Halls With Golds With Honors

Solomon: LOL
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, May no one ye disable!

me: Lol

Solomon: Go Lead it on the Dancefloor

me: LOL
We Three Queens Of Orient Are, Stealing Your Wives And Dancing Them AFar

Solomon: (Although, to be fair, of all of us - I'm the only one vaguely oriental)

me: Let It Lilt, Let It Lilt, Let It Lilt

Solomon: Where are you, Connection?

me: LOLOLOL
someone should pay us for this

Solomon: I think we should shop around the concept
I'll work on a powerpoint presentation

me: Excellent
Theme based workshop titles, has to be a huge market for that

Solomon: Yes, people would be willing to pay big pennies for it

me: Perhaps even quarter sized pennies

Solomon: Oooh!
Okay, got to go do laundry

me: There's No Position Like Contra For The Holidays...
or...Come On It's Lovely Weather For A Syncopated Feather With You!!
*Ending on a high note*

Solomon: Definitely! I was teaching one of those last night!
You even got the meter right

me: Of course

Feel free to leave your own Christmas song themed dance workshop titles in the comments section. And fellow pros, feel free to steal a workshop title or two, but you must give Solomon and I credit. We put many minutes of effort into coming up with these...almost as much effort as we put into our Pro-Pro routines.

Hippies At The Shore

Showdance from Panama City. I just can't seem to get the speed right. At this speed it seems snoozy. We practice it to a speed that seems great, but then when we dance it in a show, it seems slow again. It's so hard to account for adrenalin, I wish I could come up with an equation.

Waltzin' At The Beach

Classic Waltz from Panama City. It's definitely getting better. Not quite where I want it to be yet, but closer....thanks to Stan for taping this!

Brick Walls

No doubt this is Colson's Christmas dream; to wake up to his room looking like this.

Ava's Tent Pitcher

Ava's drawing of our family on a camping trip. The funniest part about this picture is that the ghost wasn't there originally. When she brought the drawing to Eric and I, we were laughing so hard at Colson freaking out, imagining what he was freaking out about. Ava snatched the picture out of our hands and added the ghost, but we'd liked it even better pre-ghost. It had looked like Colson was scared by Ava's flashlight, or by Eric's snoring, which was super funny.

I really enjoy Ava's crossed legs and the stake through the tent.

Guess I'm A Cat 5

Before I left for Panama City, I said to Eric:

Me: Hurricane Rina is headed for Mexico, aren't you worried for me??

Eric: No. I'm more worried for the hurricane.

Absolutes Never Stand In This House

Zach: Dad, are lima beans a fruit?

Eric: No, they're a vegetable. Anything with "bean" in the name is a vegetable.

Ava: (yelling from the other room) Uh, jelly beans???

More from the expressionista.

Cole got in trouble last night. I found this drawing in his room after he fell asleep.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

What Zach wants to be when he grows up, and other fun tidbits as he chats with me while I'm in the bathtub.

Which Aunt's Bread Do I Butter?

An instant message chat between my sister and my daughter, in which my sister makes sure my daughter knows the Relative Ranking System.


me: hello aunt

Amy: hello #5 neice

me: i could me #1

Amy: how?

me: (if i was your favorite)...
:):)

Amy: well of course you are a favorite
you know why?
because your mom is my only sister!!!!!

me: :):)

Amy: so that makes you special!!

me: but i still have another aunt you know...2

Amy: i know....

me: kathy and sue
right
?

Amy: yes
but they are aunts by 'marraige'
i am an aunt by 'blood'
do you know the difference?

me: yes... i have uncles that are married and that's could be not my aunt and another lady could be but if my mom is my mom then you have to be my aunt

Amy: your other aunts are married to your 'blood uncles; -- and i am your aunt because i am blood related to your mom

me: i know
:):)

Amy: your uncles will always be your uncles
Sue/kathy if the get divorced wont be your aunts anymore

me: i know......................yeah...Ed too??

Amy: ed is your uncle - but your uncle 'by marraige'
he is not 'blood related;
make sense?

me: uh huh

Amy: smart girl

me: :):)

Amy: and i am a smart aunt

me: sure
:P
bye

Zach's Awana Face

During the Awana closing program they show a slideshow of pictures from that year. I always love these pictures, because I didn't take them. It's fun to see pictures of your kids in places that you aren't and with expressions you don't always get to see.

My Blog Post, In A Dress

The other day the kids and I were at Chili's having lunch with Melissa and her kids. Gavin and Colson were sitting by themselves at another table, building castles with coasters and salt shakers and then throwing sugar packet "bombs" at the other's castle, scoring points when they'd breach a wall. Ava and Sophia were at our table, drawing. Ava was asking Melissa and I what she should draw, we'd give her an idea and she'd draw it. After we'd given her some ideas like "Dancing vegetables",

"An elephant doing ballet",

and, "Melissa wearing a bathing suit and teaching a class",

Ava decided to draw one of her own ideas. She drew, "those wind up teeth",

and then things started to get really funny. I should mention that when we get all the kids together, Ava's favorite thing is to subtly tease Gavin, Melissa's oldest son (he's 12). Ava loves to try to get him to laugh by doing things that could be taken as slightly mean, but she does it with a cute little giggle. So she started drawing a picture, and she was giggling to herself the whole time. Finally she showed it to us:

She said, "It's me and Sophia and Zachary, and we're all happy. But Colson and Gavin are mad because they're wearing dresses!!!" She couldn't stop laughing while she said all that. Melissa and I were cracking up (how can you not? Look at Gavin and Cole, they have their hands on their hips and expressions on their faces like "Who the heck drew these stupid dresses on us???"), and Ava decided to take it over to show Colson and Gavin. They rolled their eyes at her, but she was giggling so hard I thought she was going to choke. She came back to our table and started drawing furiously again. She was whispering to Sophia, "This one is SO BAD!!" We made her show it to us, and it was this:

"It's Cole and Gavin getting married to each other!!" *tee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!* Melissa and I spit out our Diet Pepsi, we laughed so hard. Colson's dress with the puffed sleeve put it over the edge. Well, Ava ran it over and paraded it in front of Gavin and Cole. She was doubled over and could barely breathe at how funny she thought this picture was. She returned to our table, and grabbed the pad of paper. Next came this hysterical one: Gavin, who is in reality a huge football star, playing football in a dress:

Then we got Colson playing piano in a dress:

I have to give Gavin all the credit in the world. He was a great sport about it all. Colson is used to it, he barely blinked when Ava shoved these drawings in his face. He gets it at home all the time. But Gavin has probably never experienced someone drawing pictures of him in a dress before. And he took it like a man, just rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

Gavin started telling us all that he and his best friend wanted to be a banana and a gorilla, respectively, for Halloween, and go out in the neighborhood together as such. So Ava drew this picture of G and HF. When asked who HF was, she says, "His Friend!"

Then she said, "I'm going to draw Gavin as a banana in his dream world", (cause that's a normal thing to draw), and drew the next two pictures.

She was on a roll that day. It's so entertaining when my naturally introverted daughter feels comfortable enough to put it all out there, because she's wicked funny.