Introvert Is Not A Dirty Word

This one's been a long time coming.

Why do you all feel the need to say, when Ava (INTJ) isn't answering your question, "Oh, are you shy??", in a sad tone of voice, as if you've just learned that she has terminal cancer. Or to me, "Oh, is she being shy???". Or why when you introduce her to another child, do you say "This is Ava! She's shy!". And then you say "Oh, I'll get you talking in no time! You'll be running around babbling your brains out!".

If your child has a speech impediment, I don't respond to her with "Oh! Can you not make the sound "s" without sticking your tongue between your front teeth?".

Do I look at you and, in front of your child, say "Awww, he's got ADD huh..."

Do I introduce your child by saying "Hey everyone! This is John, he's black!". "Don't worry, I'll make you white in no time! Just give me a few minutes, and your skin will be as white as the driven snow!"

"This is Jen, and she's obese!". "Don't worry, I'll get her on South Beach in no time!"

Did Miss Manners never speak on this topic?

Why do people treat introversion as if it's a negative quality to have? Why do you feel like it's something that has to be "changed"? There is nothing wrong with not spouting your mouth off all day long. There is nothing wrong with taking a moment to evaluate what you're going to say before you say it. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to enter a conversation.

And don't assume that introversion equates to fear. My daughter doesn't speak to you because she's afraid of you. She doesn't because she hasn't finished evaluating you yet. And until you have passed her tests, you won't get conversation from her. Now, I am teaching her that to fit into polite society, she is going to have to say "yes" or "no" when people ask her things.

But she does not have to elaborate further, if she doesn't feel the desire to.

If you want my opinion, I think that you extroverts get UNCOMFORTABLE around an introvert. You can't fathom not blurting out every inane thought that crosses your mind. And maybe it intimidates you. So you have to try to make us more like you. But that is a YOU problem, not an US problem. So learn to deal with it.

Trying to make an introvert be extroverted is like trying to make your blue eyed child have brown eyes. It just ain't going to happen. We can put colored contacts in, but it's not real. I have trained myself over the years to have a pretty good extroverted persona. But it's just that; a persona.

Or maybe you think we're helpless little social outcasts. Trust me, we're fine. We love sitting off to the side and watching the rest of you make fools of yourselves. It's all good. We aren't introverts because we can't seem to figure out how to be extroverts. We are introverts because are born with that trait. We NEED to keep things in, just as much as you NEED to let them out.

I sometimes think it's a cultural thing. In this country, blabbing your guts out has become what you're SUPPOSED to do. Especially with women, the damned feminist movement has made it so that if you're quiet and keep things to yourself, you're weak and letting a man walk all over you.

In Asia, it seems like introversion is praised as the greater quality. They teach their children self-control, which is not something that Americans are into.

You need us, just as much as we need you. You need us so that you are forced to temper your blabber-mouthy selves. We need you to make us take more of a verbal risk once in a while.

A word left unsaid is sometimes more powerful than a word that is said.

Introversion is not fear.

We are of equal value. So stop making introverted kids feel like something's wrong with them. It's rude.


There will be more on this topic.............It's starting to really irk me.

I Love You, Man........

I know that people reading through my posts must think that I hate people. This is not true. People deplete me. People can irritate me. But I don't hate people.

People are great. People are interesting. I love figuring people out. I love finding out what people have to offer me, and what I have to offer people. I love figuring out how to make relationships work with people.

The purpose of this blog is purely for gathering information. I would like for people who know me to know what goes on in my mind.

My temperament allows me to think about myself, and others, objectively. I can find certain things about you highly irritating, and still realize that you have something valuable to bring to the table. There are very few people in the world, to me, whose negative side of the scale is higher than the positive side.

I do tend to focus more on the negative sides of people, especially strangers, because my temperament leans that way (my J function). Also, because the negative side of people is usually much more entertaining than the positive side..........!!!!!!!!!!

So lest everyone be led astray, remember. I love people.



They're delicious.....


;o)

Master Bakers

Extreme displays of emotion in public are the same as masturbating in public.

Both acts are self-indulgent, and both acts belong behind closed doors.

Here are some examples: speaking in tongues and falling to the ground in church. (Maybe you are having an extreme emotional moment, but even if so, it doesn't belong in public.) Lashing out at your significant other in a restaurant, calling him or her evil names and gnashing your teeth. Screaming bloody murder at your dumb kid in a public playground over some random mishap. Rambling on and on to the closest warm body, in a fit of anger over how the world has done you wrong.

All of these types of public emotional outbursts are extremely self-indulgent. They make you feel good. They are impulsive. They are you rolling around in a mud pit of your emotions. They are masturbation.

You wouldn't pull your pants down and physically masturbate at McDonalds. At least most of you wouldn't. (Who knows what sort of internet freaks read this blog...). So why would you emotionally masturbate in front of people?

Now I realize that my emotions are the equivalent of a frigid virgin spinster wearing a chastity belt. I know that I need to raise my emotional skirts a little bit, show a little bit more emotional ankle....I know that I have to give my emotions a stiff shot once in a while, and encourage them to get up on a table do a little flirtatious dance.

But if I have to do all that, you extroverts need to at least stop emotionally jerking off in public, for the love of Beyonce Knowles.

So next time you extroverts are about to plop a load of emotions on the floor in public, stop and think about the impression you're giving me. Then pull your pants back up, and put your hands on the table where I can see them. At that point your emotions can do something a little more appropriate, like hold my hand or give me a little kiss on the cheek.

Keep your emotions in your pants, folks, where they belong.