The Broken Jug

So, my husband has one of those 5 gallon glass milk jugs that he keeps spare change in.

Well, the other day the kids needed quarters for something, so as I usually do in that situation, I went to the milk jug to get a few. As I tipped the jug on its side to shake some coins out, I heard a loud pop and realized all the coins were spilling out the side of the jug! Somehow a circular section about 4 inches in diameter shattered.

We haven't picked the coins up yet, mainly because Eric says he won't pick them up until he has a replacement jug. Yesterday I got an email from him: subject line "You Owe Me One Of These" and this link in the body. 

Yesterday he came home from work, walked over to his dresser to put down his wallet, and then walked over to the pile of change and dropped his spare pennies into it. It was so funny seeing pennies drop from the hand of the meticulous Eric Mosley on to the bedroom floor, as if that was where they belonged. The coin pile has inspired conversations like this:

Eric: You still owe me a jug.

Me: I got your jugs right here.

Eric: Those don't hold quarters

I don't know, it kind of looks artsy to me. Like some kind of cool abstract sculpture....like it's supposed to mean something really deep. 

Will she ever buy him that jug? Will the coin pile ever be cleaned up? Will there eventually be an ER visit because someone forgets the broken shards of glass under the coins?

Art Therapy

Every night I walk into Ava's room every night to tuck her in and see this picture Eric drew for her taped over her bed, and it's hard to remember why I'm ever irritated at him.

I'll Show You...

Zachary got in trouble the other day, Colson told on him and then Eric punished him. Well, Zachary got so mad at them both that he ran up to his room and slammed his door. A few minutes later he came back out, stormed downstairs, grabbed some paper and a crayon, wrote something furiously, then took the paper back upstairs.

I guess he couldn't find any tape to attach the sign to his door in the usual way. 

Three exclamation points and a mad face. He wasn't kidding around...

My 6'4" Boomerang

So I've mentioned my husband's greatest gift before; the confidence and speed at which he can turn an argument around on you. Not many people can out-word me, and even fewer can out-confidence me, but Eric Mosley comes closer than anyone.

Here's another great example:

One night Eric fell asleep before me. I was reading, and by the time I was ready to go to sleep, he was snoring like a grizzly bear deep in hibernation. Usually a gentle kick or a little push will be enough to get him to roll over, making the snoring stop.

So I nudged him on the shoulder to make him roll over. He woke up a little bit and mumbled, "Why are you pushing me??"

I said, "I can't sleep because you're snoring so loudly!"

He mumbled, quick as wink though still half asleep, "Well, I can't sleep when you're criticizing me!"


I couldn't stop laughing in amazement at his skill. Even in his sleep he's a word boomerang.

Watch Eric's Head Explode

Ava made a Welcome Home From Work sign on the driveway for Eric the other day, in chalk. Apparently Eric is amazing, powerful and fresh looking. I'm not quite sure what to say about that. 

My Sanctuary = C-Section Recovery Room

Thanks to my husband for taking another step towards making our bedroom the hospital room of my dreams. A wall mounted flat screen tv. 

Now all I need is a Craftmatic adjustable bed, leg compression tights, a catheter, a shaved ice machine, a woman in scrubs to come in and roll me over once a day to change my sheets, a giant shower with a chair in it, and a Tylenol with Codeine on my nightstand, and I'll have the relaxing bedroom of my dreams.

Two Things

I sent the kids to bed the other night. Ava came down to find Eric, and I heard her corner him in the kitchen, saying in her cute little girl voice, "Dad, two things....One, hurry up and come tuck us in. Two, you HAVE  to tell us a story when you do."

Eric replied, "Oh, I HAVE to?? Or what?"

Still in her cute little girl voice, "Or I'll do something bad!"

5 minutes later he was upstairs telling them stories. He came downstairs afterwards mimicking her..."Dad, two things....two things."

The funniest part of this story is all that day I'd been getting all the people in my life to watch Homeland. I'd sent my dad, and Richard, and John and Karen Burns links and instructions on how to watch the whole season online. My dad had already watched a few episodes, Richard promised to watch them this weekend while Solomon was away, and John Burns was in the process of starting the first episode that night. I mentioned to John that my dad had already watched 4 episodes and really liked it. John said, "Good grief, do all the men in your life just do whatever you tell them to??"

I just smiled and typed..."Two things:"

(To Eric's credit, he is an expert storyteller. The kids die for his "When I was a little kid" stories. They'll do anything to get him on a roll at night...)

Agent E

I found this chat between Ava and my oldest brother Eric. I laughed until I cried. She was on a ROLL.




me: Dear Mr. Eric, You are a spy.
 You have 2 new spy friends named Amy and Brooke
 Make sure they are OK Agent A I mean Signed, Agent A (You are Agent E)
 (Brooke is agent B) (Amy is agent AA) (No I am AA Amy is A because I have 2 A's in my name)

 ARE YOU CLEAR?????????????

  Eric: Sorry, I'm Zeno.

  me: AM I CLEAR????????????

  Eric: Don't bother me. I'm buying beer.

  me: I AM QUEEN AVA x-( HOW DARE YOU!

  Eric: Did.

  me: GUARDS! TAKE HIM AWAY! TO THE DUNGEON! FOREVER! HIM! OVER THERE!

 What do you mean you cannot? He's what? In the computer?

 WHAT SECRET DEVICE IS THIS THING? (knocks on screen)

 Tell me your secret, Agent E!!!

  Eric: He's in the Google Nexus Prime.

  me: Whaa? Google Nebix Preez? Google....Nexus...Prime?

 TELL ME HOW YOU....you...umm....

TELL ME YOUR POTIONS, ON HOW YOU DID IT, AGENT E! x-( Or there will be consequences :-|

Guards! Get ready just in case. (Smiles an evil smile)

  Eric: I spitteth on your agents.

  me: You, WHAT????? spitteth? what is that? TELL ME!!!!!!

OR THE CONSEQUENCE! x-( ehem.

 I'm waiting. you shall have 25 seconds.

 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 10 9 8

 SEVEN SIX!!!!!! FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Three seconds sir!!! x-( THREE!!!!!!!

 Guards! Get ready! And slow down the timer to 2 minutes instead of seconds.

Wahahahaha!! You have 2 min. to tell me. Yell when.

Wahahahaha! Oh, stay in the dungeon until that happens.

Wahahahaha, Wahahhahaha! (While you are in the dungeon)

 Guards You have 60......what? No, not that, that happend a century ago, it cannot hapen again happen

 Well......huh? Get all the nobles Rise and go (walks and sits in throne)

 (Taps fingers on chair) Nobles!!! x-( Rise Tell me Is this talk about the macadam supper really true?

 Macenzee.......What? No! No, of course not. Yes, well it's...........nuhuh.

 (Calls for Guards) Kate just made a big mistake.

Take her down to the cellar. And use the chopstick multi power Please.

X-( x-( (coughs) Leave my sight nobles, except Molly.

 Ahem. Molly, you are now moving up to the next level. now you are affitially a grand noble.

 (Molly bows and thanks Queen Ava) Rise, My Fellow.

 Now leave, go study Agent E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cummere! x-( Guards! GUARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Arise and go get Agent E!! (They come back with Agent E)

 Agent E, are you ready to tell me? Ye spitteth?

 AGENT E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 TAKE HIM TO THE CELLAR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 x-( AGENT E YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

 Sigh* Let me email another Agent

 Bonnie? Andrew? Bethany? Daddy? Jan? Colson? Brianne? Bob? Zachary? Pop?

 Let me do Agent C for, COLSON!!!!!!!!!! 8 minutes

  me: There agent C will be here any time now Guards! Get Agent E... B-)

 Agent E......of course!!! I was expecting you.

 Tell me your passcode Don't worry, no harm will be done, just need your passcode!

  Eric: Sorry, I just got back from Peru. I locked your guards up in Machu Pichu.

  me: :-o Whaa? Ahem. Those were just my guards, honey. :)

 I have knight, nobles, and other Agents :):) knights Knights!

  Eric: Days!

  me: Knights cummere! What...Agent E.......what are days....not days as in sun, clouds, daytime day........

Knights with a K not nights with a N Knight Caleb!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Get Professer Herbin

 Wait a moment Agent E hmm huh hmm hmm

 While he is gone.... (Pulls out sword from pocket) lol Puts up to Agent E's neck TELL ME YOUR PASSCODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Heeheehee NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 IS IT 557w20hkn02wq7????

 IS IT W2757365HFJHRYGNED848576NDHF???

 JEFJKERUYGEJH9547676947O96493769476KDFGJKL8954IO6JF89TJRUITGHERTUI?????????????

 TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! throws sword onto grounddddddddddddddddddddddddddd KNIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILL IM' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 They fight with Agent E 2 knights die no wait no one dies

Agent E picks up sword from the ground NOW 2 knights die Go Knights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Another knight dies

 a horse dies

 A man dies

 3 knights die

 Another 5 knights join

 Some nobles are cheering for Agent E so they start fighting the knights 3 to be exact

 A noble dies

 2 Knights die

 Queen Ava Escapes

The pastor gets murdured no just kidding lol

 another knight dies

 5 more nobles join

 2 knights join

 a noble dies

 Agent E looses a finger

 A noble dies

3 knights join

 a knight dies

 2 nobles join

a knight die s

 A horse dies

a man falls off his horse this man dies

 a noble dies

 end of war :) u won

 Pastor comes into lobby and sees all the dead people then he sees Agent E

 He runs away

Queen Ava looks into the room

Uh oh She says

She runs downstairs

Did I Just See A White Elephant???

It's Mosley Cocktail Party 2011 time!

Will this happen again tonight???!?!

This pic is to remind Brooke that she was hot before, and will be hot again in no time at all... ;)

Older And Better

Happy birthday to the sweetest, smartest, sexiest 43 year old around.

Ava's Fashions

Red turtleneck and tights with a black and white plaid skort. What could be Christmasier? Somehow it morphed into a white shirt later in that day; I'm assuming I was being a spaz about not getting the white shirt dirty.

I Thank The Bank For The Money, Thank God For You

(The title? Come on y'all, vintage Sawyer Brown!)


While I'm most grateful for this cute bunch today, I'd like to take a minute to be grateful for my friends. Oh yes, I have a few of them, don't look so shocked...

First, the original and still the best, Melissa. She's the devil on my left AND the angel on my right. How else would she be able to stick around so long...


While changing their dirty diapers, I never thought that my 4 oldest nieces would grow up to be 4 of my best friends, but here we are.

the one I'd go on a field trip with any day of the week, Bonnie May

the one I love getting late night calls from, Brianne Elizabeth

the one who knows what I look like doing "Superman! BANANA!", Brooke Suzanne

and the one who feels my sweat pain, Bethany Gates.

My dance partner Richard, who became one of my best friends our first Christmas as partners when he looked at me and said, "So...I like you, you like me, we don't have to get gifts for each other, right?" And then solidified our friendship when he later said, "Um, my dead gramma in her casket can spin faster than you." And his partner Solomon, who is wickedly intelligent but still treats me like a goddess. Bizarre, I know.

Hold on, I'm going to go so far as to add two more, who over the past year have become peas to my carrots. Everyone's Sugar Daddy, John Burns, who makes this list not just because his grammar is as good as mine, but because he gets me even though he doesn't like to admit it. (I'd add his wife Karen to this list but she's prettier than I, so screw that idea...)

..and the beautiful Antoinette Santoro, who makes me laugh for real, not the fake laugh that I usually use around most of you. Her sense of humor is so much larger than her chest, thank goodness, which is basically just average....

There! See? I have friends!

(Now, to hope that none of these people comment on this post with, "What? Who are you? Do I know you??")

Bethany Has Arrived

Maybe it's too soon, but even propriety can't hold funny back...a conversation from last week, between EMo, myself and Bethany:

Me: I had a light lunch today so I could pig out today.

EMo: Ugh, not me. I had a huge lunch. I went to this burger joint and had this amazing burger called a "Penn State" burger. Do you want to know what it had on it?

Me: Um, young boys?

EMo: Ha ha very funny, no.

(At this point I iMessaged Bethany, a Penn State grad, into our conversation. I repeated the previous exchange to her, asking her if it was too soon. She replied:)

Beth: Bah. And I do still want to know what was on the burger.

Me: Ok, to start with, 2 hamburger patties. DIPPED IN BATTER AND DEEP FRIED.

Beth: Ugh, gross. So the Penn State connection is what? The shame you feel after?

EMo and I erupted in laughter. EMo, from whom a compliment, especially one that is richly deserved, is never given, said, "She's funny!" (I think that was the most commas I've ever put into one sentence.)

Accountability Is Not About Fault

I like how my brother Eric relates the Joe Paterno PSU situation to his experience in the Navy.

Accountability's not about fault. Drilled into my head in the Navy. You get to be the captain of a Navy vessel, you get lots of perks. But when it runs aground, they don't ask questions; you're gone. The captain knows, he immediately starts packing his bags. If it happens on your watch, you own it. Of course the flip side was true... any & all good things that happen accrue to you. That's the deal JoePa made, and he was compensated quite nicely. Now it's time to pay the piper. - Eric Lewis

Nothing Says Football Like Phil Collins

Eagles/Bears game last night. Just before the game starts and in between quarters, party music is pumped through the stadium. Usually classic 80s rock anthems and such. Last night, just after a high point in the game, a touchdown maybe, the music starts blasting again. But something was off. I almost snorted by Diet Pepsi when Eric turned to me and said:

"Ah, a little "In The Air Tonight" always gets me pumped up."

Monday Mornings With Zachary, Featuring Eric

At the Eagles/Cowboys game on October 30th, with my student Stan and his wife Barb. That big smile on Eric's face while he sings is the reason I hightailed it from Panama City through 4 airports to get him to that game.

Guess I'm A Cat 5

Before I left for Panama City, I said to Eric:

Me: Hurricane Rina is headed for Mexico, aren't you worried for me??

Eric: No. I'm more worried for the hurricane.

Absolutes Never Stand In This House

Zach: Dad, are lima beans a fruit?

Eric: No, they're a vegetable. Anything with "bean" in the name is a vegetable.

Ava: (yelling from the other room) Uh, jelly beans???

Google Is My Blind Spot

Me: Whenever I wake up and the lights are off, I have a huge blind spot in my right eye. I mean, it's so big that it's as if I have a patch over that eye. But as soon as I turn the lights on, the blind spot goes away. It's like night vision blindness or something.

Me: I was Googling it to try to figure out what it is.

Eric: Um, did you ever think of Optometrist-ing it??

He Funny

I came home from practice last night to find Eric in bed, reading on his laptop.

Me: Hi love! What are you doing?

Eric: Steve Jobs is dead, iGrieving.

:)