Ungame Sunday

Today's Ungame question is:


Why are people so quick to water down their convictions when offered money and celebrity? In my mind, celebrity and money are the greatest platforms FOR your undiluted convictions.


(What?? No! This in no way has anything to do with Kate Gosselin, it's an Ungame question....how dare you question my integrity! )

Rockin' And Cryin'

Oh, I loved these little chairs that Cole and Ava had. Cole's had a rocking action, and it took him a few days to get over his apprehension of the movement.




Yes, that's that damned dog in the first picture. Someday I'll get to her, don't you worry. And no, I'm not finished with that damned Kate Gosselin. I'm giving you a much needed respite....from MY opinions. But I will share one of Melissa's opinions!

Melissa was shocked by Kate's tears over how that picture that was taken at the kids' birthday party "might have been our last family photo ever". (around 4:45 of this clip)



Melissa (as well as I) found it so hard to believe that Kate could behave the way she did towards Jon during the party, and then shed tears about how bittersweet that moment at the party was. Wouldn't want to cherish or honor that moment, huh? Nah, let's live that moment like a complete jackass and then cry about it afterwards!

Take a tip from Bob Lewis. Prior preparation prevents poor performance, Kate. That truth doesn't apply just to work, it applies to behavior as well.

And The Beat Goes On

Watch this clip from the season 4 finale of Jon and Kate Plus 8.

From this short clip, you can see that CLEARLY Jon isn't into the idea of a season 5. And CLEARLY Kate is. At that point, the first pictures of Jon out at a bar had surfaced in the tabloids, and he was having second thoughts, as well he should have been, about continuing on.

When I watched the season 4 finale, I wasn't sure there was going to be a season 5. Surely she would watch that episode back and be smacked in the face by the reality of what Jon was feeling...then I started seeing the commercials for the season 5 premiere and almost didn't believe it. Especially after having seen their faces splattered all over the tabloids every time I'd check out at Walmart.

Their body language and inflections in that one minute video foretold the whole story.

Can You Say Justification?

I'm stuck on Kate Gosselin's horrifying performance the other night....Remember when she said that for the first time her kids called her by the babysitter's name, because she's been on the road constantly with her book tour and television interviews and speaking engagements? Which she quickly followed with, "But I had to tell myself, as long as my kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved, everything is fine and I don't need to feel guilty".

What???

My kids would be happy, healthy, safe and loved at my parent's house. Does that absolve me of doing my job of raising them? Can I just leave my kids at my mom's house indefinitely because the kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved there? (Never mind that my parents would end up exhausted, skittish, deranged and unhinged.) Your kids can be all four of those things anywhere. The point is that parents are responsible for raising their kids, regardless of how said kids turn out. Your children's temperaments and states of mind don't define your parenting responsibilities. Your responsibilities are the same whether your kids are sad or happy, paranoid or secure.

I have no issue with Kate doing what she's doing, writing books and traveling the country speaking. That's great. But her husband isn't happy with the situation. He ain't feeling happy, healthy, safe and loved. That's where the problem is. You have to figure that out first, before you go charging down your own personal path. Unfortunately, that's what you sign up for when you get married. You can't do your own thing unless the other person is comfortable with your own thing. And if the other person continues to be uncomfortable with your own thing, and you feel like doing your own thing is of the utmost importance, then again I say, FINISH the marriage dealings FIRST.

And yes my darling husband, I don't really care about the Gosselins. But for some reason Kate's little speeches the other night sent me on a tirade. Because she's not the only person in the world who thinks like that. In fact, she's fairly normal. And that fact can push my "preach it, sister" button...

My kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved right now, so ain't no telling what I'm going to be doing this year!! Woohoo! Hedonism here I come!


Am I finished berating our spikey headed villainess? I doubt it, but i'll try.

Kate Minus Jon Equals Octomom

Watching the season premiere of Jon and Kate Plus 8 on Monday night, my stomach was churning. It was such a classic example of something that Brian Jones, the pastor at Christ's Church of the Valley, said one Sunday. He said that the children are not the priority in the marriage. The marriage is the priority. I had never heard that truth put so plainly before, but I've realized quickly in my marriage how true it is.

Kate kept saying things like, "I'm doing this for the kids. I'm still here because of the kids. I'm pushing forward because of the kids". I couldn't understand what she was saying, because, in my mind, "doing this for the kids" would mean tearing up the contract for season 5 the first time their picture was in a tabloid. "Doing this for the kids" would mean not talking about your problems with your spouse on national television. "Doing this for the kids" would mean canceling your book tour and TV talk show interviews and shutting yourself and your spouse into a room and having a come-to-Jesus. If it takes a year, it takes a year. You do what you have to do.

You can do nothing more important for your kids than putting your marriage first. When things start to go bad in the marriage, priority one is dealing with it. When you have children, you have no time to ignore marital issues. "For the children", you put all effort towards working the issues out. It's no fun AT ALL, but you have no choice. It's the price you pay for having children. Procrastination is not an option anymore.

Having three older siblings, I've gotten the great blessing of being able to learn from their experiences, as well as my own. No one likes to talk out problems LESS than me, but I know that nothing is more important for my childrens' mental health than for Eric and I to work out our differences in a timely and mature manner.

And I'm not saying that you have to work it out towards staying together. Obviously that's the goal, but even if that's not going to be the outcome, you make finishing it a priority. Finishing it with dignity, privacy and speed. THAT'S what's "best for the kids". Kids don't do well in ambiguity. For their sake, you put your nose to the grindstone and figure your shit out, to whatever end, so that the kids are in a state of upheaval for the least amount of time. That's your job.

After I finished watching I had to run downstairs and hug my husband and promise him that if we ever had a reality show, and it was affecting our marriage, I'd shred our TLC contract, pack up our house and move us all to Switzerland so we could refocus and work through our problems.

I also promised that I'd never get a reverse mullet haircut.

Everybody's Got Their Something

At the family picnic yesterday, my sister Amy was passing around her scrapbook (and I use the term "scrapbook" very loosely. Picture four plastic photo album sleeves held together with a potato chip bag clip...but hey, for the least crafty woman on the planet, it was a scrapbook!) of newspaper clippings about Victoria's (Amy's daughter) softball achievements.

My mother asked Nathan (Amy's oldest son), "Where are all of your newspaper clippings?" He says, "Yeah, there are none. But maybe Suzanne can write about me in her blog, and Mom can print the posts out and make a scrapbook from them..."

Well Nathan, it turns out there are newspaper clippings of you, I don't have to Photoshop a fake one. You were the Recorder of Solutions during Problem Solving Time, for pete's sake!!! Victoria's strikeouts ain't got nothin' on you.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

In today's interview, Zach tries to show off his spelling skills, but is thwarted. You can tell how badly the pollen is affecting his excema, he's scratching throughout most of the interview.

Good Reading Time

Apples don't fall far from trees......

"No, Don't Call HPS On Me!!"

Yesterday morning I accidentally whacked Eric in the face when I went to hug him. He said, "Whoa! I'm going to call Husband Protective Services on you...Then they're going to take me away from you and put me in foster care." I laughed and said, "Yeah, single women everywhere are applying to be husband foster wives. Social workers go to their houses to make sure their homes are suitable for foster husbands. They'll find you an available foster wife and give her a stipend to buy pajamas for you. While you're gone, I'll have to take Wife Classes. If I don't pass, and they deem me an unsuitable wife, your foster wife will have the option to marry you!"

Like when adoptive parents tell their kids "Your mother isn't the person who gave birth to you, it's the person who raised you", in the same way your wife isn't the one who married you, she's the one who loves you.

I was laughing so hard. . Wheaties shmeaties, I love starting my day off with a good analogy.

Save The Cheerleader, Save The World

For the past two weeks I've been watching the NBC series "Heroes" from the beginning. I am in love. I had heard about how good it was, but it was one of those shows that I never had time to add into my regular lineup. Oh, what I was missing...

It is an INTJ's dream world. A group of people who have special abilities. The struggle they have between using their abilities for good or for evil. The struggle the government faces with what to do with these people; do you round them up and kill them, because of the percentage of them that use their powers for evil? Or do you create a role for them to use their abilities to do good in the world? Or do you lock them up and use them as lab rats, trying to figure out where these abilities came from? Do you hire scientists to figure out how to take these abilities away because they're so dangerous? Or do you hire scientists to figure out how to give these abilities to even more people, because they're so useful?

Oh, the dilemnas....I also love seeing all the abilities the writers come up with. You've got your basic ones; flying, mind reading, teleporting, seeing the future, breathing under water. But then you've got the random cool ones, like the guy who can manipulate sound, the girl who can control the weather with her mind, the shape shifter, the guy with the Midas touch, the guy who can take over physical control of you, the kid who can talk to machines, the baby who can make things turn on or off by touch, the girl with adoptive muscle memory.

Or how about the little girl who can tell you where anyone is in the world by looking at their picture? Or being able to tell the history of any item you touch. The coolness just never ends. I would love to be the writer that comes up with the abilities.

I also love this show because I've always felt like I didn't belong here. That there was something about me that was very different from everybody else. That I had to hide certain things about myself to fit in. And I would never have been surprised if one day government operatives burst into my living room yelling to each other "Don't get too close to her!", shot tranquilizer darts into my back, and hauled me to some underground lab to study my brain.

Ah yes, I feel a connection to the Heroes freaks. Sylar and I are not so different.

Amy's Anecdotes, Part 1

I've decided to start writing down memorable moments shared with my siblings. Today we'll start with an Amy story.

Amy is very fun to go shopping with. She shops with speed and purpose, and with total disregard for any effect she may have on people around her. Which, of course, is a quality that bonds us.

I remember one Christmas, I must have been pre to early teen aged, I went with her to a store that no longer exists. I think it was called Best. It was one of those stores that sold a random assortment of items, and when you saw something you wanted to buy, you took a piece of paper from the pocket hanging from that item. The paper had the SKU number, item description, and price on it. You would then take all your little pieces of paper to the cash register to pay for the items.

You'd then take your receipt back to this big conveyor belt area, and you would stand in line until your items came up the belt, and the belt worker dude called your number.

Because it was so close to Christmas, the store was packed. Amy found what she wanted and paid for it. I can't remember what she bought, but I remember that it came in a big box. When we walked over to the conveyor belt area, it was packed with people. Irritated people. No one was in a line, it was just a sea of bodies.

When they called Amy's number, we had to push through the sea of people to get to the conveyor belt. The box that held the item was huge. No one offered to help her carry it out, it wasn't that kind of store. We're not talking Neiman Marcus here...So Amy lifted the box and tried to turn around to walk back through the crowd. But no one was moving, they didn't want to lose their spot in the non-line.

She started talking loudly and sarcastically to herself, "No, I'm fine! Don't worry about me! It's all good, I've got it under control!". Still no one stepped aside to let her turn around with this giant box. By this point we were both rolling with laughter. We were saying out loud to no one in particular, "Ho ho ho! 'Tis the Christmas season! Love that Christmas spirit!!".

Then, in a bold and genius move, without trying to be nice anymore, Amy decided to just start backing up. Backing up quickly and decidedly, without looking behind her. So if you didn't move, you were going to get run over. And as she backed up, she started making that backing-up-truck beep, really loudly. "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!". Every few beeps she'd also yell out "Merry Christmas!". We finally backed our way out of the throng. We were laughing so hard at her truck beeps, and couldn't understand why no one else thought it was funny. The stony looks on everyone's faces around us had no effect on our act, but I did have to throw a "Yeah, ho ho ho to you too!" over my shoulder as we walked out of the store.

Country Lyrics Eric Loves, Part 1

When Eric came to his first country dance competition, this song was played for Pro-Am twostep, which meant he had to listen to it for 18 back to back heats. He thought it was the funniest song he'd ever heard, and every so often out of the blue he'll come up to me and say, "....I've got too many pockets on my shirt..."


Too Many Pockets
by Darryl Worley



I've got too many pockets on my shirt
Too many choices and it's only getting worse
Too many things that I could do today
Too many stops along the way

I miss the way it used to be
Back when there were just two channels on T.V.
That way of life was so much easier
I've got too many pockets on my shirt

Somehow it all got out of hand
Too complicated for a simple man
Don't want to have to pick and choose
Hey, look at all these things I'll never use

I'm gonna find a one-lane road
Where there's only one way I can go
Take a little trip back to the way things were
I've got too many pockets on my shirt

Somehow it all got out of hand
Too complicated for a simple man
Don't want to have to pick and choose
Hey, look at all these things I'll never use

I'm gonna find a one lane road
Where there's only one way I can go
Take a little trip back to the way things were
I've got too many pockets on my shirt

Wish I could get back to the way things were
I've got too many pockets on my shirt
Too many pockets on my shirt

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Watch today's video to find out what's in store for Zachary's hypothetical future younger sibling.

Ungame Sunday

We're back with Ungame Sunday! Post a comment with your answer.



Today's question:

What subject would you like to speak about to a large audience?

Lunch On The Pot

Cole and Ava potty training together. Lunch on the toilet in front of the television....ain't that the life.

"And Already He's At It Again"

Another Lewis in the news, from back in the day...

You're A Part Of Me

For as long as I can remember, my mother has had dry cracked heels. I remember her using a pumice stone every night by her bed. Sometimes she would have to pumice so much that there would be a little pile of skin dust on the floor by her bed.

I can't remember how old I was, old enough to remember this story but young enough to be extremely gullible (so, probably 17 or so...!!), but one night I walked into her room to talk to her. I saw a little pile of white powder on the wood floor. I asked her if it was sugar. She said, "I don't know, why don't you taste it and see?" Then, as now, the promise of sugar won out.

So when I say that my mother lives on in me, you can take that to the bank.

Happy birthday, Mother!


P.S. My mother's sadism was passed down to most of her children. It appeared in Eric, when he told me to put the "big ice cube" (read giant salt ball) from the homemade ice cream machine into my mouth, and in Andrew when he made me lick his big toe before he'd give me a Chocodile. Oh, and also when Andrew told me to put my face down by the garbage disposal when the dishwasher started running, because something "magic" was going to happen. (Amy somehow escaped the sadism gene.) I'm sure my children will write a similar blog post about me in 10 years...

Letter From Stephen

Transcription:

"Hey Crackie Dack. Mom told me you sent a package to me from your daughters school or girl scouts but don't be disapointed if I dont get it. Sorry I can't seem to remember her name. I remember Zach and Coleson though. Yeah and funny Eric not like our brother Mr. Serious. There are alot of Lewis out here. I haven't found a female lewis out here yet but I wouldn't be supprised.

I can't wait to come home. I probably will sleep alot. I always have to wake up to an alarm here and I hate it. I miss having my own time every day just to waste away. Poor people in America dont know how good they got it. Iraqi people live in huts made out of mud or trash.

There is a trash dump outside of Baghdad with roads plowed through the dump. Familys living in a brocken down school bus, in the back of a cement mixer, or a pile of trash neatly stacked. This dump is called Trash City. Iraqi Terp's (?) tell us how Iraq used to be beautiful but now it's just a piece of crap. They say that the war is over but they don't want the American soldiers to leave because when we do the bad guys will come back to take over again. There is no clean water in the canals here just murcky swamp water.

So far the weather has been nice. Only once it reached to be 105.

Today was about 95 and breezey. Tack on an extra 10 degrees when whereing all that heavey gear. It roughly ways about an extra 60 lbs.

When I get home I am going to reclass. Which is changing my job as a soldier. I have been talking to dad about it and he has some good ideas on which route to take. I am looking into either dog handler or chaplen assistant. No I don't want to be a preacher. I don't see myself in that position. He pretty much is a runner or a PSD. A PSD is a personal security guy. I can't remember what the D stands for.

PFC Stephen Lewis

soon to be specialist SPC Lewis.
Please make sure everybody has the correct address and give out the secondary.

Option A
PFC Stephen Lewis
HHT 2nd 104 CAV (RSTA)
Unit #6260
APO AE 09378

Option B
PFC Stephen Lewis
BTRY C 1/108FA
Camp Tavi, Unit #6260
APO AE 09378"



My favorite part is Stephen describing the worst part of his tour of duty as having to wake up to an alarm. Ah, the horrors of life on the front.......!!

Horticulture Lesson

Eric went on a little rant on Sunday, after leaving the nursery where we bought Mother's Day plants for my mom.


"You know what really annoys me? The fact that "annuals" aren't plants that bloom once a year. I mean, that's the definition of annual! Why would you call a plant that only blooms once and then dies an annual? And really, why would you ever buy an annual anyway? It's like taking your money and burying it in the ground, instead of buying a house.

So really, perennials should be called annuals, and annuals should be called a waste of money..."

Monday Mornings With Zachary

In today's interview, Zach talks about the plus side to being orphaned. He also invites a guest in at the end, to offer a differing opinion.

I Must Have Done Something Good

When I was little, I just assumed all girls were as close to their mothers as I was. I assumed everyone's mother was quick witted, graceful under pressure, and always understanding. I thought every girl wanted to grow up to be just like her mother.

Then I grew up and looked around at everyone else and their mothers and realized there but by the grace of God go I....



(Of course, I'm sure every other mother out there looks at me and thinks the same thing..!!)


Happy Mother's Day!

Soulmates

Colson and Ava then....




...is no different from Colson and Ava now.






Their future spouses each have big shoes to fill.

My Stephen King Day

Some pictures and video from the aftermath of the bug poison spraying....

This Suit Needs A Manual

Picking out a bathing suit for Ava this week reminded me of a cute story.

We were in South Carolina with the Tabasso family two summers ago. One day, Melissa and I decided to go out to lunch together and leave the kids with the husbands. The guys were going to take the kids to the pool while we were gone.

After our amazing lunch, Melissa's cell phone rang. Eric was calling to ask me to give him directions over the phone on how to do up the back of Ava's bathing suit top.

If I haven't mentioned yet, little girl bathing suits kill me. I search high and low to find Ava's bathing suit each year. One of her suits from the summer of 2007 was a Frankie and Daisy skirted bikini. The back of the bikini top was a veritable maze of straps and loops.

Apparently, Eric was having a hard time figuring it out. He had even called Michael in to get his opinion, and Michael tried his hand at it. Michael got on the phone with Melissa after Eric and I were finished talking, and he tried to take directions as well, but it just wasn't happening. Now, all of this was done very casually and quietly, as both Eric and Michael are super respectful of Ava's sensitivities. Even on the phone, they both were speaking very quietly and calmly, so as not to freak Ava out with the attention.

Melissa and I spent the rest of the drive back bawling our eyes out over the image in our heads. These two big tough manly men conferring with each other on how to gently lace up little Ava's bikini top, using their big old man hands to try to get the little straps through the little loops in the proper pattern, caring so much about getting it right for her, all the while keeping in the forefront of their minds her sensitivity to attention....


Melissa and I have lucky daughters.

(We solved the problem by just telling them to get her one-piece bathing suit. We could feel their relief through the airwaves.)

You Have The Luxury Of Not Knowing What I Know

Cole and Ava have been getting annoyed by having to do things for Zachary. The two things that annoy them most are buckling and unbuckling him into/out of his car seat, and making him a bowl of cereal in the morning. Eric and I were starting to get tired of the constant bickering over whose "turn" it was to do these chores each day. They'd each whine that they "always did it" and it "wasn't fair".

One day, I the kids and I were out running errands. When we got home, I pulled the van into the garage. The usual procedure upon arriving home involved me choosing one of the big kids to unbuckle Zach, to avoid the inevitable argument. This particular day, I decided not to do that, in order to see what they would do. So I just got out of the car and walked into the house.

As I walked in, I could hear Cole and Ava beginning the argument over who was going to unbuckle him. I ignored it, and went into the kitchen. I started unloading the dishwasher, and even from the kitchen could hear Cole and Ava yelling at each other inside the car. Funny enough, Zachary wasn't chiming in. Normally he'd be yelling back at them to just unbuckle him. But it was as if he sensed that they were hanging themselves, and he was just going to sit back and watch the show.

After about 5 minutes, I heard Ava say, "I'm just going in the house, you do it". And sure enough, a minute later she waltzed into the house, shoeless, and walked right past me up to her room. She had no idea that I'd heard the whole thing. I didn't say anything to her yet, because I wanted to see how the entire situation would play out before I played my hand.

I couldn't hear anything from the van for another 5 minutes. Again, Zachary was playing this super cool, he hadn't yelled once. After 5 minutes had passed, Cole walks in with his shoes off. He says hello, and then proceeds to walk upstairs.

I let him get all the way upstairs before I calmly called them both to come downstairs. I made them both stand in front of me. I asked Colson to go unbuckle Zach, and made Ava stand there until Colson came back.

When he came back, I bent down and got real close to their little faces, looked them both dead in their eyes and said, "What you both just did was h o r r i f y i n g..........." I then gave them the leave-no-man-behind speech. "In THIS house, we don't leave our family behind, no matter how we feel about them. You don't have to like Zachary, you just have to feed him and let him out of his car seat". I told them that their behavior was disgusting. I asked them how they thought Zachary felt knowing that his brother and sister had left him all alone in the van with no way to get him out. (Of course, I left out the part about how much I knew Zachary had LOVED the whole situation, knowing somehow that it would all play out in his favor.)

I preached that the word "fair" has no meaning in this house, especially when it pertains to taking care of each other. I told them I'd wiped their butts every time they crapped in their diapers, and that certainly wasn't fair. When you love someone, you don't think about fair.

Cole and Ava were properly moved by my Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men speech. I was dying to tell them that they couldn't handle the truth, and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to them, saves lives. I decided that might be a bit much.



The next day I called them both into my room. I was ready to dole out my King Solomon judgement. I said, "I have made a decision about the cereal and seat buckle situation. Colson, you will ALWAYS make Zach's cereal. Ava, you will ALWAYS buckle and unbuckle Zachary. Ava, if Colson isn't here for some reason, you will make Zach's cereal AND buckle him. Colson, if Ava isn't here, you will also make Zach's cereal AND buckle him."

I haven't heard a peep about either task since.

Talk About A Bad Hair Day

Ava and Zachary were playing dollhouse together. I heard her say to him, "Don't touch the girl on the roof, she's dead". Of course, that piqued my interest. I poked my head in and asked, "Why is the girl on the roof dead"? Ava answered, "When her hair sticks straight up like that, I don't like it, so I make her be dead. But we put flowers by her grave".



Moral of this story? Make sure your hair looks good when you see Ava. Apparently you're dead to her otherwise...

Monday Mornings With Zachary

In today's interview, Zachary speaks on fears, math, and the meanings of words.

Ungame Sunday

Today's Ungame question is:


Share a time in your life when you were embarrassed.




Don't everybody comment at once....take turns, people...

Fallen

They say you never forget your first love. People assume "they" are talking about romantic love. People are wrong.

Eek, A Mouse!

My kids have always been drawn to the computer. All three of them started playing on the computer before they turned two. I stocked up on all of my favorite toddler game series, Putt-Putt, Freddy Fish, Pajama Sam, Reader Rabbit, and I taught them how to go to certain websites to play games; pbskids.org, nickjr.com, and the like. From a young age my kids have always known computer terminology, since I always used proper terms when explaining to them how to do things.

When Cole and Ava were maybe 2.5 and 3.5, I noticed something. When we would be driving, they would point out "mouses". As in, "Look! There's a mouse!"...."Another mouse!"...."Ava look! A mouse!".

It took this happening a few times before I figured it out. It only happened on major roads, never on back roads. And they would be pointing to street signs when they said it, such as this one:



Do you see the "mouse"?



I loved so much that they called arrows "mouses" that I didn't correct them for the longest time. My mother finally made me tell them, and it was a sad, sad day.