Amy's Anecdotes, Part 1

I've decided to start writing down memorable moments shared with my siblings. Today we'll start with an Amy story.

Amy is very fun to go shopping with. She shops with speed and purpose, and with total disregard for any effect she may have on people around her. Which, of course, is a quality that bonds us.

I remember one Christmas, I must have been pre to early teen aged, I went with her to a store that no longer exists. I think it was called Best. It was one of those stores that sold a random assortment of items, and when you saw something you wanted to buy, you took a piece of paper from the pocket hanging from that item. The paper had the SKU number, item description, and price on it. You would then take all your little pieces of paper to the cash register to pay for the items.

You'd then take your receipt back to this big conveyor belt area, and you would stand in line until your items came up the belt, and the belt worker dude called your number.

Because it was so close to Christmas, the store was packed. Amy found what she wanted and paid for it. I can't remember what she bought, but I remember that it came in a big box. When we walked over to the conveyor belt area, it was packed with people. Irritated people. No one was in a line, it was just a sea of bodies.

When they called Amy's number, we had to push through the sea of people to get to the conveyor belt. The box that held the item was huge. No one offered to help her carry it out, it wasn't that kind of store. We're not talking Neiman Marcus here...So Amy lifted the box and tried to turn around to walk back through the crowd. But no one was moving, they didn't want to lose their spot in the non-line.

She started talking loudly and sarcastically to herself, "No, I'm fine! Don't worry about me! It's all good, I've got it under control!". Still no one stepped aside to let her turn around with this giant box. By this point we were both rolling with laughter. We were saying out loud to no one in particular, "Ho ho ho! 'Tis the Christmas season! Love that Christmas spirit!!".

Then, in a bold and genius move, without trying to be nice anymore, Amy decided to just start backing up. Backing up quickly and decidedly, without looking behind her. So if you didn't move, you were going to get run over. And as she backed up, she started making that backing-up-truck beep, really loudly. "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!". Every few beeps she'd also yell out "Merry Christmas!". We finally backed our way out of the throng. We were laughing so hard at her truck beeps, and couldn't understand why no one else thought it was funny. The stony looks on everyone's faces around us had no effect on our act, but I did have to throw a "Yeah, ho ho ho to you too!" over my shoulder as we walked out of the store.