So I guess the moral of this story is, if you perverts are thinking you can mess around with children and get away with it, well, you can. Just make sure you pick a child like I was, extremely introverted and introspective, good at hiding things away for long periods of time. A child who is very obedient, very quiet, a peacekeeper. Oh wait, those ARE the kinds of kids you creeps pick. You lowlifes aren't as dumb as you look.
But just remember. That introverted, introspective kid who is the perfect choice to become the victim of your felonious, deviant sexual behaviors is probably going to be the perfect choice to become something else, too.
A writer.
(originally posted February 6, 2012)
Your comments have been very thoughtful and educational, not just for me but for others reading this story. Please keep them coming! Here's another question for you: Do you think there should be a statute of limitations on prosecuting child molesters? There's no SOL for murder, but there often is for rape and child molestation.
After thorough interviews with key players in the family, and after setting up the details for a wiretapped phone call, the investigators informed me they'd had overlooked that my date of birth made it impossible for the state to prosecute my ex-brother-in-law for the felony he committed. The DA caught it and informed the investigators that there was nothing they could do at this point. The PA child molestation statute of limitations law changes depending upon your year of birth. It was a major disappointment for all of us. The investigators have compiled a file with all of the interviews and videotapes, so that will be on record at least.
Is there a part of me that's outrageously angry at my family for not turning my abuser in when this first happened and getting it taken care of right away, when it would have been easy? Of course. Is there a part of me that's hating myself up for not realizing all of this 8 years ago, when I would have been able to prosecute? Of course. But I'll get over all of that eventually. My ex-brother-in-law got off scot-free twice before, why should a third time surprise me?
The child molestation statute of limitations law in PA is pretty archaic, comparatively. The Sandusky Penn State mess is forcing the state to review the SOL laws, as a few of those boys are too old to prosecute as well, so there may be a time in the future when my abuser can be prosecuted. Every state has different SOL laws but many states have been revising theirs because it's becoming very clear that most child victims of sexual abuse don't start coming to grips with it until they're in their 30s or 40s.
So I guess the moral of this story is, if you perverts are thinking you can fuck around with children and get away with it, well, you can. Just make sure you pick a child like I was, extremely introverted and introspective, good at hiding things away for long periods of time. A child who is very obedient, very quiet, a peacekeeper. Oh wait, those ARE the kinds of kids you creeps pick. You lowlifes aren't as dumb as you look.
But just remember. That introverted, introspective kid who is the perfect choice to become the victim of your felonious, deviant sexual behaviors is probably going to be the perfect choice to become something else, too.
A writer.
As you have said, the ramifications of the abuse or incident may not be fully felt for years to come. Or the courage to pursue it. I don't think that there should be a limit to pursue this. I'm sorry, for you, there is in this case.
ReplyDeleteBut, DON'T beat yourself up for not knowing the time limitations and not taking action. This has been a process. It is more important for YOU to have healing at this point. Sometimes this can't be rushed, but must come at the speed that God allows for YOU.
I know coming to terms with my abortion as a late teen took many years for me to fully deal with in my mind. When I was more mature in age and spiritually, I was able to handle the immense grief and regret that poured out of me.
It is what it is for you. Surround yourself with those who love you and draw strength from them as you address this time of your life.
Generally speaking having a statute of limitations on crimes seems like a good idea, but I think child abuse/ molestation is a different story for two reasons. One, exactly what you mentioned above that the victims of such crimes are likely to need years, if not decades to be able to come forward, both because of exactly the characterics for which they are targeted in the first place -- compliance and obedience -- and because offenders are so often "trusted adults" in the victim's life. And, two, because child sexual abuse often has as much (or more) to do with power than actual sex, many molesters will keep finding victims until they are caught (and maybe even then won't stop). Besides which, the effects of such abuse (especially ongoing abuse like what you were subjected to) can last a whole lifetime, why should the perpetratro get off the hook any earlier than that?
ReplyDeleteSuzanne,
ReplyDeleteBy contrast, NJ has one of the most, if not THE most, progressive standard. This is 2 years from the date of reasonable discovery. This revised statute came in 2006, and there are lobbies to Christie and the Senate to change it to no limitation at all!
The pen is mighter than the sword, "Richelieu; Or the Conspiracy", by Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1839.
Molesting a child isn't a rebellious faze you outgrow. Stealing might be. Dealing drugs might be. If you have it in you to harm another human being in a clear state, it's who you are. There should be no SOL on that.
ReplyDelete