Thursday, May 28, 2009
Can You Say Justification?
I'm stuck on Kate Gosselin's horrifying performance the other night....Remember when she said that for the first time her kids called her by the babysitter's name, because she's been on the road constantly with her book tour and television interviews and speaking engagements? Which she quickly followed with, "But I had to tell myself, as long as my kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved, everything is fine and I don't need to feel guilty".
What???
My kids would be happy, healthy, safe and loved at my parent's house. Does that absolve me of doing my job of raising them? Can I just leave my kids at my mom's house indefinitely because the kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved there? (Never mind that my parents would end up exhausted, skittish, deranged and unhinged.) Your kids can be all four of those things anywhere. The point is that parents are responsible for raising their kids, regardless of how said kids turn out. Your children's temperaments and states of mind don't define your parenting responsibilities. Your responsibilities are the same whether your kids are sad or happy, paranoid or secure.
I have no issue with Kate doing what she's doing, writing books and traveling the country speaking. That's great. But her husband isn't happy with the situation. He ain't feeling happy, healthy, safe and loved. That's where the problem is. You have to figure that out first, before you go charging down your own personal path. Unfortunately, that's what you sign up for when you get married. You can't do your own thing unless the other person is comfortable with your own thing. And if the other person continues to be uncomfortable with your own thing, and you feel like doing your own thing is of the utmost importance, then again I say, FINISH the marriage dealings FIRST.
And yes my darling husband, I don't really care about the Gosselins. But for some reason Kate's little speeches the other night sent me on a tirade. Because she's not the only person in the world who thinks like that. In fact, she's fairly normal. And that fact can push my "preach it, sister" button...
My kids are happy, healthy, safe and loved right now, so ain't no telling what I'm going to be doing this year!! Woohoo! Hedonism here I come!
Am I finished berating our spikey headed villainess? I doubt it, but i'll try.
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I am more put off by her commentary about how she has known about and being dealing with "this stuff" for 6 months and trying to fix it.. apparently, she hasn't. I mean it isn't her job to make her husband feel a sense of accomplishment but maybe if she settled into their very comfortable life a little more he would be able to seek out that thing that gets his wheels churning, and I guarantee it wouldn't be another woman.
ReplyDeleteTo the notion that your kids can be healthy, happy, safe and loved anywhere. I agree..but I don't think Kate has abandoned her children and given up her parental responsibilities, rather she has created her own village in an attempt to rear her children while pursuing more and more money. To say that she doesn't care if her book sells a single copy and that she did it so her kids will have the memories but then criss cross the country and leave them for long periods of time to promote and SELL copies just seems so contradictory to me.
I don't think she is a villain, but I hope that she and her family can reconnect and it can be an example of how divorce isn't always the only option to fix things. I guess we shall see if her religious piety pays off now.