Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach talks about his trip to spend the night at Uncle Andrew and Aunt Kathy's house.

Ava's Fashions

Heavens, this is cute. Cream fine wale skinny cords. A faux layered shirt (a style trend that Melissa hates. not the layered look mind you, the FAUX layered look). And pink suede boots with white fur around the top. Blown out hair with an extreme side part, pulled back to one side with a pink grosgrain bow...delicious.

Hey Mrs. DJ!

I'm off to NYC today, to DJ at the Big Apple Ranch. Richard and I are also performing there tonight, dancing our two-step routine for the crowd.

Turkey Youth

On Wednesday night, while we were all cleaning the house in preparation for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, Colson decided he wanted to make a turkey flag to hang in the dining room.



After drawing the turkey flag, he said he was going to write a pledge of allegiance to the turkey flag that we would all have to say before eating on Thanksgiving day. He wrote the pledge, and I put it in the dining room with the flag.


Before eating on Thursday, he called everyone to attention and made Andrew hold the turkey flag. Colson stood on a chair holding the pledge, while everyone gathered around the table. We were all about to recite the pledge when Colson looked at me with a funny look and whispered, "Mom, I need to talk to you for a second", and pulled me into the kitchen.

He then whispered, "Mom, is "butt" an inappropriate word? I think maybe it is...". I chuckled and said, "Well, it's just family here today, so it's fine, you can say it". He looked at me dubiously and said, "I think it's too inappropriate, so I'd like to cross it out and change it quickly".

He and I quickly changed the pledge to make it more "appropriate":


We all recited the pledge to the turkey flag, Dad prayed, and we all sat on our butts and stuffed ourselves.

The Circle Of Life

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the following:

1. my husband's new project at work, that is giving him renewed excitement for his job

2. my new local costume designer, who eliminates my long drives into NYC for fittings

3. my children, for being even cuter and smarter than they were last year

4. my parents still being alive (not that they're in any danger of dying, they're just nearing that age where you never know)

5. and this video which just makes me laugh.

Happy Thanksgiving!

And Still More Of The Commish

Find out how the last week of regular season football went in the family fantasy league. Next weekend the playoffs begin for us.

JEFF SMYTH: GM OF THE WEEK (11)
... First Time GMoW for Jeff Smyth - Playoff Bracket Is Finalized - Top Four Seeds Are Locked And Ready To Bye ...
(TUE 11-24)

GM OF THE WEEK: All season long they've toiled in anonymity, always a level or two behind the headlines, playing consistent, yet unflashy, solid football. Well this weekend, the final weekend of the 2009 Philadelphia Challenge regular season, the Manassas, Va Smytherines won their first General Manager of the Week award! The Smytherines collected a RB of the Week honor along with the highly coveted Team HighScore honor in their 130-115 win over the much maligned Golden Knights (who amazingly sat two qualified trophy winners on his bench).

And in case you've been asking around, the answer is "YES!" - trophies will continue to be awarded during the post-season.

DOGGPOUNDERS LOSE EVERYTHING TO MOB!!! - Alas, every story like this one ends in a bloody mess over a plate of Penne all’Arrabbiata. The trendy Kennel DoggPounders entered their regular season finale against the lowly 1-9 Hell Bandits on a two win hot streak (after opening the season with ten straight losses) and convinced they would NOT end the season as the league's worst team. But as the strains of Speak Softly Love faded in (the GodFather theme for you uninformed)
the Pounders fell limp unto the field, falling well short of a respectable triple digits, losing 93-69. Oh the humanity ... all the hoopla and the Pounders still finish dead last and earn the 12th, and final, spot in the post-season tournament.

............... POST-SEASON TOURNAMENT ...............
The REAL Season Begins NOW!

TOP FOUR SEEDS GET FIRST ROUND BYE: 8-3 Dolphins, 8-3 Smytherines, 8-3 Haulers, 7-4 Mules: We thought they would be our four top seeds - given the probabilities entering the final week of the regular season - but the Dolphins and Mules stumbled last week, unpredictably, and for a few moments, the top four seeds were in doubt. But that is past - enjoy the week off you chosen few ... for in a few days the battle will call you out once again.

LET THE BRACKET WAR COMMENCE:
Bracket I[/b]
#9 Golden Knights (4-7) at #8 Delaware Destroyers (5-6): The Knights are dizzy after last week's disaster - losing the QB of the Week award and the WR of the Week award by poor personnel decisions. Can't have that anymore - it's the playoffs, baby - time to put up or shut up. No whiners allowed. There's no crying in Philadelphia Challenge Post-Season Tournament play! Whereas the Destroyers enter the post-season on a high, after their 98-96 win over the #5 ranked SpecialEd (6-5).
REGULAR SEASON RESULT: Destroyers, 135-105 wk9
Winner plays #1 Mosley Dolphins (8-3)

#12 Kennel DoggPound (2-9) at #5 SpecialEd (6-5): So they fell on their face in front of a nation-wide audience, the Pounders could catch lightning in a bottle again, couldn't they? Huh? Couldn't they, Mom? Old Yeller's just sleeping, right? ... SpecialEd, please end this for us ... do it quickly - hate to think he's in pain. Its just so sad watching the Pounders flopping around for dignity ... it takes every ounce of energy for them just to show up for a game ... sad, I tell ya, just sad. Do the honorable thing SpecialEd ... time for Doggs to go to heaven. Its ok Pounders, you'll get to score TDs and catch passes and run back kicks and kick the longest field goals ever! Goodbye Pounders ... you were a shooting star these last couple weeks - too bright for our universe. (sniff)
REGULAR SEASON RESULT: SpecialEd, 84-70 wk4
Winner plays #4 Sauteed Mules (7-4)

Bracket II
#11 Hell Bandits (2-9) at #6 RoopDogs (6-5): So which Garff HellBandits will show up next week? Its either competitive pro-ball or CampFire Girls with these guys. They've shown us they're no DoggPounder - at least they have earned that much respect from us ... but a win this week would stretch the chasm even farther and they'd become the new Challenge darlings of this community. The RoopDogs? Visions of gagging over the porcelain throne after their TrailerBowl fiasco is still vivid in our memories - its gonna be tough just looking at their box score this weekend.
REGULAR SEASON RESULT: RoopDogs, 134-49 wk6
Winner plays #3 Hamilton Haulers (8-3)


#10 Little Rupple (4-7) at #7 Manassas Monsters (6-5): Hard to imagine at just five weeks ago, Little Rupple were the talk of the league, sitting proudly at 4-2 having just beaten the proud Mosley Dolphins (who are our top seed in this affair). Now? Little Rupple has lost five straight, yes, raise your hands whilst we plummet to the number ten ranking and into the game of their lives, against the 7th ranked Manassas Monsters, who've won two straight games in their run up to the tourney. Kind of a HighLights picture of Goofus and Gallant ... Gallant plays hard every week and submits their roster on time .. Goofus stays up all nite watching tv and forgets to enter their depth chart. Hmmmmm ... which one will win this week?
REGULAR SEASON RESULT: Monsters, 134-86 wk7
Winner plays #2 Manassas, Va Smytherines (8-3)

Choices

Don't know which fast food joint to hit today? Here's a flow chart to help you out.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Find out how Zachary knows Gramma is old.

Ava's Fashions

Cream colored skinny cords. Fushia striped tunic top. Fushia ballet flats. Finished off with the perfect catalog pose.


Even standing next to an American Indian doesn't ruin the cuteness of this outfit.

What Is Wrong With You??

I just love these pictures of Cole and Ava. She was 4 months old and he was 15 months old. He's babbling on about something and being his usual expressive self, and she's just looking at him in amazement, as if even at 4 months old she can't believe that someone so silly exists.

Weekend In New England

I'm off to Providence, Rhode Island today to spend the weekend coaching John and Dee Soares, who are great dance friends of mine. They've just opened a new dance studio, and I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Sarah's Key

I just finished reading Sarah's Key, by Tatiana De Rosnay. It was one of those delicious stories that wrenches your soul apart and leaves it in pieces on the ground.


I had a visceral reaction to the key moment in the story, the moment that defines Sarah's life. My stomach actually convulsed at the horror that I knew was about to happen. As the parents and the girl were taken away, I could physically feel what the parents were feeling, knowing what was most likely going to happen to their son. That feeling, knowing you have absolutely no control over the situation, and there is nothing you can do to fix it...horror. Complete horror.

When the girl goes back, I knew what she was going to find, and yet my brain kept whispering, "Oh please let it be different, please let it be different..."

I couldn't identify with Julia's driving need to find Sarah's son and tell him the story, but it was interesting to find out about Sarah's adult life. Realizing how that moment had dictated the rest of her life... Understandably so, especially if you don't believe in the sovereignty of God.

I always say that without a belief in the sovereignty of God, suicide IS the only answer that makes sense. Nothing makes sense without that belief. If you don't get your peace from the knowledge that everything has been planned and ordered by God for a specific purpose, why live?

Anyway, if you're in the mood for a soul wrenching, horror filled novel (what? that's not what everyone is looking for in a book??), pick this one up.

More Of The Commish

Since only those in our fantasy football league get to appreciate Andrew's writing skills, and since he's too dumb to have saved any of his prior recap articles, I will from now on post them to my blog for all to enjoy.

SUZANNE MOSLEY: GM OF THE WEEK (10)
... Suzanne Mosley Won Her THIRD GM OF THE WEEK - DoggPound A Close Second With Their Stunning Upset Over The 7-3 Smytherines - First Ever TIE In Philadelphia Challenge History, SpecialEd Is Thanking His QB For The Win This Morning
(TUE 11-17)

GM OF THE WEEK: Suzanne Mosley's Sauteed Mules picked up their third GM of the Week honors this morning after their HUGE win over the league leading 8-2 Mosley Dolphins, 115-101. Their trophy count, QB of the Week and TE of the Week, gave them the edge over the Kennel DoggPound - who scored the UpsetOfTheDecade in their GARGANTUANAMOUS win (only their second of the season) over the second best team in the league, the 7-3 Manassas, VA Smytherines, 130-104, picking up the Team HighScore trophy as icing on the cake!

VEGAS ODDSMAKERS QUALIFY FOR FEDERAL BAILOUT!!! - Nate's DoggPounders have done it again - they now legally own the sportsbookmakers in Vegas - they followed up their first win of the season last week with an unbelievable victory over the Smytherines. With the post-season only a week away, could the Pounders be talking championship???? Since our illustrious Commissioner decided that "everyone is special" thus everyone gets a ticket to the dance, all twelve teams will participate in the post-season. So a team like the lb-ers could hit a hot streak (kinda like the one they're on now) and defy the odds. Alas, could they have captured lightning in a bottle too soon? These two wins would have been better served a little later. Still - this guy is the new Bugsy Siegel ...

TRAILER BOWL ENDS WITH KISSING SISTERS -> Our first ever Trailer Bowl - of course it ended with kissing sisters ... A 114-114 TIE! Whodathunkit? You wouldn't have believed this if it we're the Lifetime Movie Of the Week - but that's reality - always more skankier than Hollywood. Credit SpecialEd's Tom Brady's 29pts to break this unholy affair ... mercy, it ain't right I tell ya ... 'scuse me while I go bathe to get this off of me... yeechkkk ...


............... FINAL GAME OF The REGULAR SEASON ...............
Three Of The Top Four Seeds Are Still In Doubt

Win You Bye, PT I -> 4-6 Golden Knights at 7-3 Smytherines: The Smytherines have just been on a whirlwind rollercoaster ride the last three weeks, knocking off the then league leading Haulers in week 8, running up the score on the HellBandits in week 9, then plummeting to the abyss last week versus the Pounders. They need a rocket lift back to the top against the GoldenKnights if they want a guaranteed ticket to a bye.

Win You Bye, PT II -> 5-5 RoopDogs at 7-3 Sauteed Mules: With the champagne of last week's win still stuck in their hair, the Mules need to get one more win to qualify for the highly coveted bye week in our post-season tournament. The RoopDogs are coming off a humiliating tie - and the Mules better watch out, because these Dogs have followed up every loss since week 5 with a win.

Win You Bye, PT III -> 7-3 Haulers at 8-2 Dolphins: Just four weeks ago this matchup was being heralded as a ChallengeCup Preview ... alas the Haulers suffered two losses since then and are now in a world-sized struggle just to get a ticket to bye. AND THEY HAVE TO BEAT THE LEAGUE'S BEST TEAM TO GET ONE!!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH (in my best Grover voice) ... well, at least the Mules have proven that it can be done - oh, and so too the LittleRupples of this world. It can be done - all you have to do is believe in yourself. Don't worry about the scoreboard. If you do what you love, the points will come, they say. You can bet the Haulers will be trying all sorts of Kabbalah crap to conjure up a win this week ...

Win You Just Might Bye, PT IV -> [i]4-6 Destroyers at 6-4 SpecialEd: Yup, SpecialEd theoretically has a shot at a bye ticket, as long as any of the above three top teams tank it - going by the upsets we've seen in recent weeks, I'd say its a virtual lock. All SpecialEd needs to do is stop the up and coming Destroyers - who were just a fingernail's width away from a fifth straight win last week (someone decided to bench 50pts worth of RBs - that could have netted them 148pts and a possible GM of the Week, too!)

Save The Children

Melissa and I have decided that there would be much less child abuse in the world if it was legal to duct tape your children's mouths closed between the hours of 4:30 and 7:30pm.


If you are raising, or have ever raised, more than one young child at a time, you know what I'm talking about. Children lose their minds for those 3 hours every day. The devil's hours, they are....

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Another bedtime story from Zach, this time he writes his own.

Ava's Fashions

This dress was quintessential Ava, for 3 reasons:

1. The color. Bright light turquoise blue has been Ava's best color since birth.
   
2. The style. Fashion forward bohemian.
   
3. The bling. You can't see it in this pic, but there are light turquoise sequins on the bodice of the dress.

Bohemian braids with matching ribbons, and flat white sandals. Quintessential Ava.

Plus, every self-respecting bohemian girl has a monkey on a string...

I'm Gonna Buy You A Cadillac, Mama...

It is my great white hope that these two boys, with their outrageous intellects and unparalleled powers of manipulation, will someday run a company that will support their mother in the style that she'd like to become accustomed to.

My Best Birthday Present

When I was 8, I wanted a boy barbie doll. My brother Andrew, who was 16, decided to make me one. This wasn't unusual, Andrew was always making me things. He's the creative Lewis, with music, art, and humor oozing out of his pores.

So Andrew took one of my female Barbies and made a man out of her for my birthday. He gave her a butch haircut and a mustache.

But this wasn't just a regular Barbie. This was Growing Up Skipper. She was a pre-teen Barbie with a flat chest, perfect for turning into a male, right??

Wrong. Very wrong. Why, you ask? Watch this video to find out:




Oh yes! Andrew had made Hermaphrodite Barbie. (Not sold in stores.)

I didn't realize at 8 years old how much I'd wish I still had her at 35 years old. My greatest regret.

Happy Birthday To The Commish!!

In honor of his birthday, experience the funny that is my brother Andrew. He's the Commissioner of our family's fantasy football league. Every week he writes an article about the previous weekend's football escapades, and previews the next weekend's games. Each week his articles prove why among many other things, he should have been a sportswriter.

ERIC MOSLEY: GM OF THE WEEK (9) ... back-to-back!... Eric Mosley repeats as GM of the Week despite a very strong performance by Bonnie Johnson's Delaware Destroyers - other highlight, THREE-WAY TIE FOR Kicker of the Week!

Champions get hot when the games get bigger - and with the post-season just two weeks away, the 8-1 Mosley Dolphins are showing why they are the team to beat in the 2009 Philadelphia Challenge. The 'Phins grabbed their 2nd GM of the Week honor today after defeating SpecialEd 136-107 - collecting Team HighScore award and RB of the Week award as well. The hot Delaware Destroyers (4-5) made a case for their first GM honor with their three trophies (WR, D/ST, & K) but the points value of their trophies fell just shy of Mosley's. The Destroyers are on a four game winning streak - after starting the season with FIVE straight losses!

Nate's DoggPounders guaranteed a victory this weekend and despite everyone's laughter at the mere thought, they went out and got their very first victory of the season ... AND PICKED UP A QB OF THE WEEK AWARD, TOO!!!! Arizona's Kurt Warner threw for 30pts and led the Pounders (1-8) to a 98-58 thrashing over LittleRupple (4-5).


............... CIVIL WAR WEEK ...............
forget relationships, forget civility, forget "let me get that for you honey" ...

INAUGURAL ROUTE 663 BOWL -> 6-3 SauteedMules at 8-1 Mosley Dolphins:
You can bet these two teams have had this game marked on their calendar since August. This is probably our league's most heated rivalry - both battling it out for supremacy over East Greenville. This game will easily be the highest rated game of the weekend!

INAUGURAL TRAILER BOWL -> 5-3 SpecialEd at 5-3 RoopDogs:
While most of the nation's eyes will be on the little town outside Quakertown, PA ... those without cable, as long as they have the extra wide coat hanger with the .75 grade aluminum foil wound tightly around it, will be able to watch this game in ultra-clear black-n-white. Visit your local 7-11 to pick up Limited Edition Jerry Springer 3D glasses to enhance your viewing pleasure of this game ... The loser of this game will NOT get the benefit of a bye week when the post-season starts - the winner will still have a decent mathematical shot at earning the 4th seed - and a chance to rest up for the playoffs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Sauteed Mules are my team, Mosley Dolphins are my husband Eric; RoopDogs are my sister Amy's team, SpecialEd is her boyfriend Ed's team)

How A Ninja Celebrates

Now I know why people say "party like a rockstar" and not "party like an INTJ".

First of all, this is how a ninja gets her ears pierced. Nary a smile, and nary a scream. There were tears at the end, but I saw that they were coming and hugged her so she could shed them in private.




And this is how a ninja acts when a group of wild clappers in red shirts sings Happy Birthday to her. Now mind you, Ava had been looking forward to the birthday singing all day, and had specifically chosen Chili's BECAUSE of the birthday singing. But this is how a ninja must react:



Her thought bubble is, "nothing is happening, nothing is happening, nothing is happening...". "Don't react, don't react, don't react, don't react." And yet she was loving it. She's been telling everyone about how the Chili's servers sang to her.

No one knows how to hide a reaction like an INTJ. INTP's run a close 2nd, but I think we'd take the prize.

Happy Birthday To My Giant

7 years ago today:





Happy birthday to the girl who's never been little in any way. She came out of the womb with a giant body, and has since proven that she has a giant brain, a giant heart, and giant determination and spirit.

Next Stephen King?

I was going through a junk pile the other day and came across Ava's old story notebook. When she was 3, my mom gave her this spiral notebook that Ava used to write and illustrate stories. When she'd finish a story, she'd bring me the book and read it to me. Back then, being 3 years old, her spelling was sketchy and she didn't quite understand how to write her sentences in order on the page, so I'll translate beneath each page....even more shocking than the fact that Ava wrote this at 3 years old is the fact that she chose this subject matter.

They were holding hands for bed. It was time.

But sadly, a lady bad woman was at the window.

Going to steal the girl. But in the morning the girl was gone.

Then they went to find the girl.

She told the Daddy about the girl.

It was snowing. Boo, spooky.

Aha!

I'm such a huge fan of the old lady at the window, with the bags around her eyes and the Picasso-esque crooked nose.

I also adore the mother's face as she hugs the found girl, with her closed eyes and arched brows.

From a very young age, Ava was able to draw expression in faces. Even when every other aspect of the person was drawn at a normal toddler level, the facial expressions were always so mature....

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach "reads" a bedtime story to his fans.

Ava's Fashions

Now THIS is what you wear to play golf. A denim flared mini, in a fun summer color (it's a skort, that makes it sporty, right??). A tiered white tank top with a ribbon accent. And pink polka dot wedge peep toe ankle strap sandals. The pony tail says "casual day out golfing", but the shoes say "that's right, go ahead and think I'm a prissy girl, and while you're thinking that I'm going to score a birdie on your pathetic butt"...

Cross-Kitchen Skiing

Hot Wheels tracks. My brother Andrew knows them as spanking devices. Colson knew them as skis.

I Like You And All, But Don't Touch Our Stuff

My Dad came over the other night to sit with the kids while I went to dance rehearsal. Colson drew a picture for him. Funnier than the picture is the note Colson wrote to go with it....

"Dear Pappa, I realy like your bered and I like how you sing. I also like how you laf, you have the funnyest laf, but why do you use Mom's laptop? Now you can put this paper in your shirt."



(If the song/blog post combo today doesn't make at least one of you cry tears of amazement, you people are all cold and dead inside...)

You Can't Worship God With Your Eyes Open!

I'm going to have to agree with Jason Boyett on this one. Calling the time spent singing praise songs that are full of "meaningless Jesus-is-my-boyfriend language" worship is stupid. You'd better be doing something more than clapping your hand to a kickin' praise band to worship God....

He Sees You When You're Acting...

Don't forget to order tickets to see Colson and Ava in their first real play!

The Rest Of The Story

I promise, and I deliver! Jan Lewis's testimony, given at Tri-County Bible on October 17th, 2009.

Jan Lewis Testimony from Suzanne Mosley on Vimeo.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach's Christmas list. My favorite part is Zach's answer to the question, "What do you think Gramma wants for Christmas?".

Ava's Fashions

Just a sweet little dress. Has a dirndl feel too it, sort of Heidi-esque. Lavender plaid flannel with flowers and laced-up ribbons...white blouse with a peter pan collar...white lace socks. Very sweet.


(I just realized that I always write in incomplete sentences for Ava's Fashions. Completely unintentional, but it always happens....)