Introvert Is Not A Dirty Word

This one's been a long time coming.

Why do you all feel the need to say, when Ava (INTJ) isn't answering your question, "Oh, are you shy??", in a sad tone of voice, as if you've just learned that she has terminal cancer. Or to me, "Oh, is she being shy???". Or why when you introduce her to another child, do you say "This is Ava! She's shy!". And then you say "Oh, I'll get you talking in no time! You'll be running around babbling your brains out!".

If your child has a speech impediment, I don't respond to her with "Oh! Can you not make the sound "s" without sticking your tongue between your front teeth?".

Do I look at you and, in front of your child, say "Awww, he's got ADD huh..."

Do I introduce your child by saying "Hey everyone! This is John, he's black!". "Don't worry, I'll make you white in no time! Just give me a few minutes, and your skin will be as white as the driven snow!"

"This is Jen, and she's obese!". "Don't worry, I'll get her on South Beach in no time!"

Did Miss Manners never speak on this topic?

Why do people treat introversion as if it's a negative quality to have? Why do you feel like it's something that has to be "changed"? There is nothing wrong with not spouting your mouth off all day long. There is nothing wrong with taking a moment to evaluate what you're going to say before you say it. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to enter a conversation.

And don't assume that introversion equates to fear. My daughter doesn't speak to you because she's afraid of you. She doesn't because she hasn't finished evaluating you yet. And until you have passed her tests, you won't get conversation from her. Now, I am teaching her that to fit into polite society, she is going to have to say "yes" or "no" when people ask her things.

But she does not have to elaborate further, if she doesn't feel the desire to.

If you want my opinion, I think that you extroverts get UNCOMFORTABLE around an introvert. You can't fathom not blurting out every inane thought that crosses your mind. And maybe it intimidates you. So you have to try to make us more like you. But that is a YOU problem, not an US problem. So learn to deal with it.

Trying to make an introvert be extroverted is like trying to make your blue eyed child have brown eyes. It just ain't going to happen. We can put colored contacts in, but it's not real. I have trained myself over the years to have a pretty good extroverted persona. But it's just that; a persona.

Or maybe you think we're helpless little social outcasts. Trust me, we're fine. We love sitting off to the side and watching the rest of you make fools of yourselves. It's all good. We aren't introverts because we can't seem to figure out how to be extroverts. We are introverts because are born with that trait. We NEED to keep things in, just as much as you NEED to let them out.

I sometimes think it's a cultural thing. In this country, blabbing your guts out has become what you're SUPPOSED to do. Especially with women, the damned feminist movement has made it so that if you're quiet and keep things to yourself, you're weak and letting a man walk all over you.

In Asia, it seems like introversion is praised as the greater quality. They teach their children self-control, which is not something that Americans are into.

You need us, just as much as we need you. You need us so that you are forced to temper your blabber-mouthy selves. We need you to make us take more of a verbal risk once in a while.

A word left unsaid is sometimes more powerful than a word that is said.

Introversion is not fear.

We are of equal value. So stop making introverted kids feel like something's wrong with them. It's rude.


There will be more on this topic.............It's starting to really irk me.