Monday Mornings With Zachary

Driving home from a Memorial Day picnic yesterday, Eric says to me, "Oh my word. Honey, turn around slowly and look at the kids, you gotta see this."

Some kids play air guitar, this is what my kids play....

Ava's Fashions

Ava as Annie Oakley for an Awana theme night, American Historical Character night. Super adorable costume, and perfectly fitting choice personality-wise. You know Ava would be a killer sharpshooter if she ever tried.

Colson was Neil Armstrong, in case you couldn't guess....

PillowHead Square Bob

The other day my kids walked into my room like this, making ghost noises.

I don't even know what to say about this.

The Truth Shall Set You Free?

Eric and I are taking the kids to visit my father-in-law Jerry, or "Pop" as my kids call him, and his partner Del in a few weeks. The kids have been talking about Pop and Del a lot recently, and I heard this conversation between Zach and Ava in the car yesterday. Zach was in the mood to make phone calls, and was talking to Ava about who he should call.

Zach: Ava, I think I will call Del and tell him that he's bald.



Ava: Zach, I think that if you say that, it would not be very nice, and it will make Del feel sad.



Zach: But Ava, he really is, so it's just true. And I think he will just laugh and think that it's funny.


Poor Del. Mind you, he's not bald. He has a very distinguished looking closely shaved haircut. But to a 4 year old...

I will have to remind Del that it could be worse, Zach could be calling him to remind him of his impending death, as he does my mother. In the words of Zach, "but it's just true!".

I Am Now An Untouchable

Well, that was a first. Last night, on my way home from rehearsal at NashDancenter in Randolph, NJ, I stopped for gas. After he pumped my gas (the law in NJ), Apu handed me my receipt and debit card and said "Thank you, good night". He walked over to another waiting car, and I started the truck and started driving off.

All of a sudden I hear, "ALLLALLALALLAAALLLLALAAA!!!!!!!!!". I stop, still in the parking lot of the gas station, and look behind me. I see the handle of the pump still in my gas tank, and the black rubber tubing dragging along the ground. Apu was running towards my truck with his arms spread looking for all the world like a Jihad suicide bomber preparing to meet Allah. (Bethany is dying right now...it's a joke, down girl!!! You know my song choice makes up for my politically incorrect jokes.)

Apu was very nice, he must have apologized 9 times while taking the pump out of my gas tank and screwing the gas cap back on.

Curse this pox that is upon my household....

Commercial Interruption

Because I only watch TV online anymore, I don't get to see many commercials. I saw this one the other day while watching TV with Eric and the kids, and I couldn't stop laughing.

Stupid Is As Nice Does

Probably my favorite Gregory House quote of all time, from this last episode.

House: That was stupid of me.

Girl: No, it was nice.

House: I don't see that as a contradiction.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Today Zach wants to talk about sickness, and what it feels like to not be able to breathe.

Ava's Fashions

Mauve cowl-necked sweater dress, check. Butterfly tights, check. Hundreds of ringlets, check. Table decorations that coordinate with your outfit, check. The perfect birthday tea party can now begin.

Maverick And Goose

When Zachary was doing one of his breathing treatments on Thursday night, Eric decided to grab his sleep apnea mask in a show of solidarity. He was pretending to be a fighter pilot, and he and Zach were talking into their masks...."Coming in for a landing!!"...."Watch out for the MiG at twelve o'clock!"...."FLAPS!!!"

My Transformer

Today Eric has his surgery at St. Luke's Bethlehem. They'll screw his broken collarbone back together, into a metal plate. Because the collarbone is close enough to the skin that you'd be able to feel the metal plate, once the bone is healed they'll go back in to remove the plate.

It's an outpatient surgery, should only take an hour. Eric got nervous when the pre-op nurse asked him if he had a living will, but it should be an easy procedure.

We're calling this step one on his way to becoming Iron Man. Speaking of Iron Man, I'm very excited to see Iron Man 2. I have to say, Robert Downey, Jr.'s performance in the first Iron Man turned me on like the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.



I was such a huge fan of how he played that character, and I'm so looking forward to more.

I Put The Pathetic In Sympathetic

When the ER doctor came in to explain to Eric how to care for his broken collarbone, he pulled his "I'm not only a doctor, I'm a stand-up comic and deserve to be on a show like Nurse Jackie" schtick and said "You can use this injury to get a lot of sympathy from people", and looked and me and gave me a giant exaggerated wink.

Eric snorted and said, "Wow, you don't know my wife. I've only got about 5 minutes left..."

The Envelope Please....

AND THE WINNER IS.........


THE LOVELY IYA HANNUM!!!!

The equally interesting Iya has won a free copy of Life, In Spite Of Me not only because she was the only entry, and not only because she complimented me (although that will always get you into the top 3 of my giveaways), but because she was brave enough to share a snippet of her moment of despair. Iya also deserves this win for putting up with my finicky Zachary in her class at co-op this season. Let's face it, she deserves way more than a free book for living through that trial.

Send me an email with your mailing address, Iya, and I'll get your book to you!

And for all you homeschool moms out there in the Chester/Lehigh/Montgomery county PA areas, Iya runs a fabulous homeschool co-op in Bechtelsville! Email me for more details, as there is not a website to point you towards (something to think about, Iya??!! ;).

Life, In Spite Of Me, and Giveaway!

Life, In Spite Of Me is an amazing story of teenage angst gone horribly wrong. An incomplete suicide in a moment of despair leaves Kristen Jane Anderson physically torn apart, but God's perfect plan uses Kristen's struggles dealing with a broken body to push her towards a full and healthy relationship with Him.

Every young adult has had moments like these, when they wonder if it wouldn't be easier to not be alive. Some, like Kristen, make impetuous decisions to end their lives in these moments. Suicide to a teenager can sound romantic and glamorous. I would make this book recommended reading for all pre-teens and teenagers, to highlight the painful reality of suicide.

Twilight's got nothing on Life, In Spite Of Me. Bella's got nothing on Kristen. Treat your teenage daughter to a heroine who overcomes her teenage self-pity to realize the one thing that makes life worth living is understanding the sovereignty and grace of God, which is only easy to spot in hindsight.

WIN A COPY OF LIFE, IN SPITE OF ME!

To enter this contest, share a moment from your teen years when you felt like life wasn't worth living anymore, and what happened to get you out from under that cloud of despair. It can be something as frivolous as ripping your favorite pair of designer jeans to something as life changing as losing a parent. Funny, heart-wrenching, casual, all stories are welcome! I will choose a winner the way I always do, on a whim. So tickle my funny bone or poke at my tear ducts! The winner will be announced in tomorrow's blog post.

Star In The Making

This kid is so cute. This is her YouTube channel. Read her biography here.

From The Mouths Of Babes

From the backseat of the truck while driving to the ER last night to find out if Eric was dead or not.

Colson, in his fake and uber dramatic "I'm really scared" voice: I'm really freaked out right now! Today at school we were talking about how the world might end, and how we can save the world by being green, and now Daddy's been in a bad accident! (at this point, the director says in a dramatic whisper, as if he knows he's just shot the Oscar winning moment, ".....cut.....*sniff....")

Ava, a few minutes later, says to herself quietly: When I grow up and get a car, I'm going to drive VERY CAREFULLY...

Zachary: I'm going to pray for Dad! "Dear God, please let Daddy feel better....and thanks so much that the donuts they have after church are really good!"


Those are my children. Ava's always looking for the practical way in which a situation can teach her a life lesson. Zach's always doing something that seems so amazingly sweet and caring, but is always killing two birds by getting something out of the situation for himself. And Colson is always taking the opportunity to move closer to center stage to share his emotions during a candlelight vigil while encouraging the audience to hold hands and sing Kum Bah Ya...

They're cute.

"You Know You're Getting Old, Right?"

Happy birthday to the original and the best. My Mama.

Expressionistic Art

Some of Ava's recent drawings that I find humorous. You'd never know by talking to my introverted daughter that she was capable of conveying so much expression in her drawings.

"Sarah and me playing with my princess set, and she's mad because she doesn't want to play anymore"

"Colson and Dad helping Brooke move boxes"

"Colson sleeping in the car on the way home from moving Brooke"

"My Sunday school class, everyone is praying. That one kid is peeking."

"Zach and me eating donuts after sunday school, and you guys are standing and talking"

This one makes me laugh, with the drama of the girl on the left. "(whisper) get out"

"Daddy showing Cole where the bathrooms are"

You Lookin' At Me, Sucka??!?!!

Ever since my car accident three weeks ago, I have these little panic attacks while driving. They usually happen when I accidentally look at the steering wheel. In my mind, it turns into this giant face, and if it sees me making eye contact with it, it will open it's mouth with a giant *BANG!!!* and throw out it's searing hot balloon fist to punch me in the face.

So I've been wearing dark sunglasses while driving, even on cloudy days.

Book It!

I came downstairs the other day to a sight that will forever remain burned into my retinas. Possibly the proudest and most fulfilling moment of my parenting life thus far.


(The title? You homeschoolers know what it means! The Pizza Hut reading program! Where my homeschoolers at???)

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach tells us about his best friend Luke's birthday party, and discusses the difference between living and non-living things.

Happy Mama's Day

My children are too young to realize this, but when they thank me today for being such a good mother, the person they should be thanking is the woman to whom I give Mother's Day cards. Without her influence, I doubt my children would even want to acknowledge me as their mother, let alone shower me with cards and flowers...

Too Tired To Live

This was pretty much how my babies spent their first year of life. I'd put them down on the floor to play, and they'd just fall asleep for hours.

Lego My Light Saber

Speaking as someone who can barely build a tower with Legos, all I can think about is how much work went into this....

Near Octagonal Forest, Beyond Horizontal Lake

Eric and I are taking the kids to see the most powerful waterfall in North America soon. We've been talking about it for a few weeks and Cole and Ava are very excited.

Well, I guess Zachary is too, because yesterday he asked my mother if she wanted to go to "Diagonal Falls" with us this summer.

Why I Dance, Part 1

Robert Royston and Laureen Baldovi. The "winningest" UCWDC Masters couple, who inspired me to compete. Audiences had a Pavlovian response to them, collectively smiling, laughing, drooling, sighing and jumping out of their chairs on cue. I spent most of the late 90s memorizing their routines. Here are just two of the hundreds of videos I used to watch incessantly, maybe they'll inspire you (and maybe Robert and Laureen will make my day and post more of these oldies but goodies!). It's amazing how relevant these performances continue to be.

Keep Him Guessing

After tucking all three kids into bed last night, Eric comes downstairs and says, "Man, your daughter's just like you! With the boys I say I love you and they say "I love you too sooo much!"

"With Ava, I tuck her in and say I love you, and she just smiles and says "hmmmm...." Then say I love you, I love you, I love you, and she says, "good night!"

"I don't know how to communicate with you people...."

Apparently this Keith Whitley song never meant anything to Eric.

What's The Point?

WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Richard and I took first place overall this past weekend at the Easterns Dance Challenge. It was our first "qualifying" win, which means there were at least 3 couples competing and we took first place.

In the UCWDC, a division must have at least 3 couples competing for an overall placement before the competition counts towards ascension points. If a couple wins first place against 3 or more couples, that win is a qualifying win and therefore earns them 2 ascension points. If there are less than 3 couples and the couple who takes first gets an average grade of A or higher, that couples earns half a win, or 1 point.

This win gives us two ascension points, which we will now add to the one ascension point we earned in Baltimore a few weeks ago. We need a total of 8 points to move up to the Masters division. We hope to earn 5 more points before the year is out.

After 6 years together, all we can say is IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!!

Ava's Fashions

There are barely any words for this amount of cute. But I'll try to find a few. I bought this dress knowing it was going to be too short for Ava. But I hoped it would look cute over white leggings. My hopes came true. Steel gray and hot pink. Such an expensive looking combo. And if anyone finds those black rhinestoned gladiator sandals in my size, BUY THEM FOR ME!!!!!

Trying To Dance In All 50 States

Another dance competition this weekend. I'm in Herndon, VA, for the Easterns Dance Challenge. I've got one Pro-Am student dancing Male Silver Novice today, West Coast Swing Jack and Jills tonight, and then Richard and I compete tomorrow morning. I haven't been to Easterns since Richard and I competed here in 2005, when I was 7 months pregnant with Zachary. Hopefully people notice that I'm thinner now.