As an INTJ female (for those into Myers-Briggs and the like), I am a hard person to know, and an even harder person to love. I wonder if someday my children will want to know what really went on in my brain. I shall leave them this gift. Well, maybe not so much a "gift" as an extremely uncomfortable last will and testament.
My friend John Burns has many quirks. I could blog for a year and still not hit on them all. But here's a fun one: he can't swallow a pill! He has to chew them up with water for a LOOONG time. I had to get video proof. By the time I started this video, he'd already finished one and had two more to take. Yes, 1:44 is how long it took him to take two pills. I kept wanting to do the dog thing where you put the pill way down in a dog's throat and then rub its throat up and down real hard to make it swallow....
Okay, this is why most women hate Melissa. I've told you about her always finding the perfect everything. Well, she walked in to a diner the other day with this on her fingernails...THE PERFECT SHADE OF RED POLISH FOR A BLONDE! You know how hard that is to find?? It made me want to slap her 7 times across the face.
While I'm most grateful for this cute bunch today, I'd like to take a minute to be grateful for my friends. Oh yes, I have a few of them, don't look so shocked...
First, the original and still the best, Melissa. She's the devil on my left AND the angel on my right. How else would she be able to stick around so long...
While changing their dirty diapers, I never thought that my 4 oldest nieces would grow up to be 4 of my best friends, but here we are.
the one I'd go on a field trip with any day of the week, Bonnie May
the one I love getting late night calls from, Brianne Elizabeth
the one who knows what I look like doing "Superman! BANANA!", Brooke Suzanne
and the one who feels my sweat pain, Bethany Gates.
My dance partner Richard, who became one of my best friends our first Christmas as partners when he looked at me and said, "So...I like you, you like me, we don't have to get gifts for each other, right?" And then solidified our friendship when he later said, "Um, my dead gramma in her casket can spin faster than you." And his partner Solomon, who is wickedly intelligent but still treats me like a goddess. Bizarre, I know.
Hold on, I'm going to go so far as to add two more, who over the past year have become peas to my carrots. Everyone's Sugar Daddy, John Burns, who makes this list not just because his grammar is as good as mine, but because he gets me even though he doesn't like to admit it. (I'd add his wife Karen to this list but she's prettier than I, so screw that idea...)
..and the beautiful Antoinette Santoro, who makes me laugh for real, not the fake laugh that I usually use around most of you. Her sense of humor is so much larger than her chest, thank goodness, which is basically just average....
There! See? I have friends!
(Now, to hope that none of these people comment on this post with, "What? Who are you? Do I know you??")
Maybe it's too soon, but even propriety can't hold funny back...a conversation from last week, between EMo, myself and Bethany:
Me: I had a light lunch today so I could pig out today.
EMo: Ugh, not me. I had a huge lunch. I went to this burger joint and had this amazing burger called a "Penn State" burger. Do you want to know what it had on it?
Me: Um, young boys?
EMo: Ha ha very funny, no.
(At this point I iMessaged Bethany, a Penn State grad, into our conversation. I repeated the previous exchange to her, asking her if it was too soon. She replied:)
Beth: Bah. And I do still want to know what was on the burger.
Me: Ok, to start with, 2 hamburger patties. DIPPED IN BATTER AND DEEP FRIED.
Beth: Ugh, gross. So the Penn State connection is what? The shame you feel after?
EMo and I erupted in laughter. EMo, from whom a compliment, especially one that is richly deserved, is never given, said, "She's funny!" (I think that was the most commas I've ever put into one sentence.)
The New Girl, on Fox. I love it. This scene where one of her roommates is trying to get Jess to say the word penis made me laugh out loud more than once. She had accidentally seen him naked and wanted him to have a mature conversation about it.
I like how my brother Eric relates the Joe Paterno PSU situation to his experience in the Navy.
Accountability's not about fault. Drilled into my head in the Navy. You get to be the captain of a Navy vessel, you get lots of perks. But when it runs aground, they don't ask questions; you're gone. The captain knows, he immediately starts packing his bags. If it happens on your watch, you own it. Of course the flip side was true... any & all good things that happen accrue to you. That's the deal JoePa made, and he was compensated quite nicely. Now it's time to pay the piper. - Eric Lewis
Eagles/Bears game last night. Just before the game starts and in between quarters, party music is pumped through the stadium. Usually classic 80s rock anthems and such. Last night, just after a high point in the game, a touchdown maybe, the music starts blasting again. But something was off. I almost snorted by Diet Pepsi when Eric turned to me and said:
"Ah, a little "In The Air Tonight" always gets me pumped up."
2011 is going to go down in my personal history as being the year I finally dealt with and SAID the truth. Truth. With nothing else. Just truth. Not truth "as I see it". Not truth covered by hate and anger and happiness and love, but just truth. Black and white. Calling things what they are. Ducks ducks, and spades spades, and pedophiles pedophiles. Here are a just a few of those truths:
Do you know what's scarier than monsters, especially to a kid? For everyone else around them to call that monster a nice person. That's a guaranteed way to make that kid's brain mush for a nice long time.
It's not un-Christian to say true things.
It's not un-Christian to be loyal to one person over another.
Forgiveness and trust are not and should not be synonymous.
Forgiveness and physical proximity do not have to go together.
Life is about choices. This or That. One or The Other. Yes or No. Choosing "both" is the same as not choosing. It's weak, and while it may seem like a lovely option in the beginning, will always lead to pain in the end.
At the Eagles/Cowboys game on October 30th, with my student Stan and his wife Barb. That big smile on Eric's face while he sings is the reason I hightailed it from Panama City through 4 airports to get him to that game.
My next dance competition is in Birmingham the first weekend in December. We Pros were asked to send in workshop titles that had a Christmas theme. Unbeknownst to each other, Solomon and I had sent in workshop titles based around Christmas songs (shock). We shared our titles with each other, and then spent at least 15 minutes shooting other titles at each other, spiraling deeper and deeper into our Word Lover's Hell, as we often do....
Solomon: My workshop titles for Christmas In Dixie are: Do You Hear What I Hear? Finding the Rhythm in your Cha-Cha O Little Waltz of Birmingham
me: lol Mine were Two Steppin' Around The Christmas Tree and It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like East Coast
Solomon: I love it
me: great minds
Solomon: I was trying to think of something with What Child is this Like "What West Coast is This?" But I thought it might be too obtuse
me: yes
Solomon: There was also "Triple Two is Coming to Town"
me: lol
Solomon: Oh Holy Lead Jesus Christ, you call that Night Club?
me: Come, They Told Me Po-po-po-po Polka
Solomon: Shall I Schottiche for you? Oh Come All Ye Pony Swingers
me: lol lol
Solomon: We Need A Little Compression
me: LOL
Solomon: Hark the Heralds Like to Swing
me: LOL I'm Dreaming of The Right Footwork I Saw Mommy Leading Santa Claus
Solomon: I'm scaring my dogs with my laughter right now
me: Lol
Solomon: Waltzing in a Winter Wonderland We'll Night Club 2 Christmas Dreidl, Dreidl, Dreidl, a class on turn technique
me: All I Want For Christmas Is To Not Be Pulled
Solomon: All I want for Christmas is for you to move when you're supposed to :P
me: Lolplolololol I'll Be Balanced For Christmas
Solomon: Joy to the world, you didn't fall
me: LOLOLOL Deck The Halls With Golds With Honors
Solomon: LOL God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, May no one ye disable!
me: Lol
Solomon: Go Lead it on the Dancefloor
me: LOL We Three Queens Of Orient Are, Stealing Your Wives And Dancing Them AFar
Solomon: (Although, to be fair, of all of us - I'm the only one vaguely oriental)
me: Let It Lilt, Let It Lilt, Let It Lilt
Solomon: Where are you, Connection?
me: LOLOLOL someone should pay us for this
Solomon: I think we should shop around the concept I'll work on a powerpoint presentation
me: Excellent Theme based workshop titles, has to be a huge market for that
Solomon: Yes, people would be willing to pay big pennies for it
me: Perhaps even quarter sized pennies
Solomon:Oooh! Okay, got to go do laundry
me: There's No Position Like Contra For The Holidays... or...Come On It's Lovely Weather For A Syncopated Feather With You!! *Ending on a high note*
Solomon: Definitely! I was teaching one of those last night! You even got the meter right
me: Of course
Feel free to leave your own Christmas song themed dance workshop titles in the comments section. And fellow pros, feel free to steal a workshop title or two, but you must give Solomon and I credit. We put many minutes of effort into coming up with these...almost as much effort as we put into our Pro-Pro routines.
Showdance from Panama City. I just can't seem to get the speed right. At this speed it seems snoozy. We practice it to a speed that seems great, but then when we dance it in a show, it seems slow again. It's so hard to account for adrenalin, I wish I could come up with an equation.
