Ice To The Top

Upon my demise I have no doubt that at my funeral someone will, when waxing poetic about my time here on earth, mention "ice to the top". Everyone will chuckle and share stories about their memories of me and ice to the top...


I have been a soda addict for more years than I can count. Coca-cola was my drug of choice for many years, and for the past 4 years Diet Pepsi has been my fix (it's like an cocaine addict switching to ecstasy, I know, but give me a little credit). Through it all, ice to the top has remained the same. I know that many people who have passed through my life have never understood this monumental part of my personality, so I will now share my reasoning.

Ice to the top refers to, obviously, the quantity of ice in a glass of soda. Let me be more clear, the quantity of ice BEFORE the soda is added to the glass. And while "ice to the top" is a quotable Suzanne Mosley quote, ice to the top is only the tip of the iceberg, pun intended.

The ratio of ice to soda is so very important. Why? Well, what is ice? Correct, frozen water! The moment you pull ice out of a freezer, the ice begins to melt. For $400, once ice melts what does it become? Correct again! What is water! And what does water do to a glass of soda? DING DING DING, we have a winner! It waters the soda down, changing the flavor.

Some might comment, "But ice to the top means that there is MORE melting ice in the glass!". That is true, but think about it for a moment longer. One, the larger quantity of ice means the amount of coldness in the glass is greater, keeping the ice in frozen form for a bit longer. Two, the amount of soda that will fit into the glass is MUCH less, so you drink it much faster. There ends up being no time for the ice to melt enough to change the soda formula.

When the soda formula is changed, the burn is changed. What is the burn? The burn is just what you think it is. When you take a sip of a quality soda/glass/ice combination, you feel that fantastic burn in the back of your throat. As if someone just poured battery acid down your esophagus. As if someone is scrubbing your tonsils with a Brillo pad. As if your vocal cords are being strummed with the back of a porcupine. Divine.

The temperature of the soda prior to being poured over the ice is also crucial. NEVER can you pour room temperature soda over ice. You're doomed before you take the first sip, which will already be watered down enough to affect the bite of the soda. Always, always, always cold soda over ice. (My Dad can drink a room temperature can of soda. Seeing that never ceases to take me aback.)


I also believe that cans are far superior to any other containers. The aluminum keeps the liquid colder than plastic does and doesn't defile the flavor as much as plastic does. Of course glass bottles are the standard, but that time has come and gone....I was born into the wrong era.

There are also very clear standards about the vessel used to drink soda. Plastic is NEVER an option. Plastic defiles not only the level of burn you get from the cold CO2, but also the taste of the soda itself. Glass is the only option. When Chili's switched from glass mugs to clear plastic mugs of the same shape and size, the amount of ice put into the cup became even more important. The longer the liquid remains in the plastic cup before you drink it, the lower the quality of each sip becomes. Now, there are times when I will drink soda from a plastic cup; picnics, church events, etc. If I'm going to be eating good food, I won't forgo my soda, and the hosts and the other guests will never know of my sacrifice. But you can guarantee I will fill that plastic sucker up with ice.

The size and shape of the glass used to drink the soda from is also important, but also very personal. For myself, the kind of glass that I prefer to drink the soda from changes quarterly. Sometimes I'm having a tall and narrow moment, other times I die for a short wide glass. Some months I love a narrower-at-the-bottom wider-at-the-top variety, and other months I think that type of glass is horrifying. One of the most perfect soda glasses is the POM tea glass. You know, the individual serving glasses that you buy POM tea in. Those glasses make wonderful soda drinking glasses. I was in a POM glass stage for a long time...

I allow for others to indulge in their own personal glass size/shape shifts. I never judge those opinions. Sometimes Melissa and I will be in completely opposite size/shape places, but that's what keeps the relationship interesting.

Mom and I used to go to a restaurant on 100 in the Exton area that served their soda in tin mugs....!!!!! I KNOW! Fantastic! Mom's and my favorite restaurant, Cock of the Walk, also serves their sodas in tin cans. It's as close to perfection as you can get.

My husband got his first hint of how important ice would be in our marriage in Year 2.

He asked me if his buddies could come over after work to play poker. I said sure, as long as you don't expect me to come downstairs and play hostess. He was okay with that, he just asked if I'd leave some food out for them. So I set up a nice table of game night snacky food, and made sure I was upstairs in my pajamas by the time they all got there. Eric came upstairs to say hello before the game started, and I asked if he'd bring me a plate of food and a Coke, since I'd forgotten to do so in my rush to get upstairs and avoid being social. He went down, and came back up with a plate of food and a can of Coke. He then handed me a glass that had 3 cubes of ice in it.

......................................????

I looked at him and said, "Wow. I feel like I've just wasted 2 years of my life on you. If you can bring me a glass with 3 ice cubes in it, that tells me that you haven't been paying attention to me AT ALL. The LEAST thing anyone knows about me is ice to the top."

He apologized and took the glass back down to fill it, probably kicking himself the whole time for having allowed my devastating beauty to overshadow the portent of neurosis while we were dating.

So there you have it. The explanation of ice to the top.

I have a feeling you'll never ask "why" again.