Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I have a friend who made a comment at the pool the other day that struck me as so demonstrative of how so many people in this world think.

She was complaining about how hard it is to teach your kids lessons, when so many of the other kids "out there" don't adhere to those same lessons. So when your kids go out there in the world, they are hearing all of these words, and seeing kids do all of these things, that they are not allowed to say and do.

She said "I just wish all of the kids in the world had to adhere to the same rules. That would make my life so much easier and my kids would be so much less confused."

I felt so badly for her, because I see her frustration all the time. She wants so badly to teach her kids the right thing, and in her mind, sees all of her hard work being picked apart. And it's true, it is hard for kids these days, especially kids who have parents who try to enforce some rules. So many parents don't anymore, so kids who live with rules are a rarity. But I wish that I could help her see this from a different perspective...

I have such a different view of the same situation. For instance, neither my nor her kids are allowed to say the word "stupid". When she hears other kids at the pool using the word stupid in conversation with her children, it makes her very frustrated. When I hear other kids at the pool using the word stupid in conversation with my kids, I secretly love it. I sit back and listen, to see if my kids will stick to what they know, or if they will succumb to the pressure and join in.

If every kid in the world had to live by the same rules, they would grow up ever really believing in anything. If you don't say stupid just because no one in the world is allowed to say it, then you haven't learned the lesson. You're just a robot blindly following rules.

For me, character is built in those situations. If my kids can "keep their heads when all around them are losing theirs", then they have really become SOMETHING. The more often your beliefs are tested, the more chances you have to strengthen your character.

And nothing is more important to me as a parent than raising my kids to be people of character.



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