Get Off The Roads NOW

My friend Solomon recently got his driver's license. After living in NYC for his entire life and never needing to learn to drive, he decided it was time to learn a new skill! He im-d me Friday morning:






Solomon: I drove to work today

no one died

Me: It's a new day

Solomon: Crazy, huh? A couple of times I thought I was going to crash, but I would just close my eyes, let go and say "JEBUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEL!"

(Solomon is my best atheist friend. Yes, I have more than one. He likes to make up new names for Jesus and Jehovah...his current favorites are Jebus and Jojoba.)

In other Solomon news, he sent me an email from work the other day. He works for Revlon, and Revlon has created a new line of rhinestoned eyelash curlers. He asked if I wanted his, because:

Solomon: I don't use an eyelash curler often enough.

Yep, he doesn't use them OFTEN ENOUGH.

I love that guy.