Today Is The Thirty Firsth

Heard in the car yesterday:

Zach: Dad, what's the date-th?

Eric: What? Do you mean the date?

Zach: No, I mean the date-th. You know, like what number is it today with "th" at the end?

Eric: Oh, it's the 30th. But it's not always "th" at the end. Sometimes it's "st" or "rd" or "nd".

Practice Your Espanol

Once every other week in her online Spanish curriculum, Ava is required to write something in Spanish. This was one of her assignments:

Write a short story in English and put five Spanish words into it. You can use the new words you learned this week or words you learned in previous weeks. (5 points) Have fun and be creative!

Once there was a little nina. She loved to play with hojas. One day while she was playing, she lifted a leaf up, and found a mapa. She looked at it and there was a circolo on it. She told her mama about it. Her mama told her, "put it in the trash nina! We don't want this house messy!" So she went over to the trash, and when her mama wasn't looking, she folded it up, and put it in her pocket. She went outside and looked at her tranangulo roof. She saw a rojo circulo on her roof! She got her papa's ladder and climbed up."Wow! A apple, on the roof!" she said."Nina!Supper time!" she heard her mama calling. "Nina! Get off the roof! What is that rojo circolo? Get down!""yes mama!" she called. She took the apple and saw another on the hill! She quickly ate supper and came back outside. She went on the hill and got that rojo apple."Nina! Bed!"mama called. "But mama!"she whinned. "You may play again tomorrow!" mama called back.

The next day she forgot about the mapa. Was the mapa a dream? she thought. But she was wearing no pajamas and she was wearing the same clothes as 'the dream'. So, she felt the mapa when she reached in her pocket. She forgot that her mama didn't want her to have it, but she showed her mama!"Mama!The mapa! I have a mapa! MAMA!" she yelled. Her mama came running down the hall and took the mapa and ripped it! "Mama! Mama that is spetial!"nina whinned. She ran to her room and slammed her door, and cried.

To be continued...

Hairball

Zach licked his guinea pig last night.

Eric was traumatized. He walked around the house for an hour in a funk. He couldn't shake it. "He just licked it's fur...."

"Who does that?............."

"I've never seen anything so disgusting in my life....."

"...I just....I can't even.....ugh......"

Poor thing. I don't think he'll ever recover.

True Grit

When I was young, my parents were missionaries. My father was with The Navigators and worked on college campuses holding bible studies. Employees of The Navs raised their own support, so we were usually on a tight budget.

My dad was and still is the King of Making Do. He could live in a hole in the side of a cave, making fire from his glasses and eating slugs. Think Tom Hanks in Castaway. So living a frugal lifestyle comes naturally to him. For many years all I knew was generic brand food, thrift store clothing and secondhand books. (Of course, I never gave any of that a second thought because, while my father was the King of Making Do, my mother was the Queen of Finding The Best Old Things And Making Them Seem New.)

While other kings brandished shining swords and gold scepters, my dad had his own weapons of choice. One of them was the S.O.S. pad. (The other two were duct tape and a caulk gun, more on those later.)

My dad could perform miracles with an S.O.S. pad. He could take a stainless steel pot that had been tarnished, burned and buried and make that sucker shine like the top of the Chrysler building. My memories are filled with visions of my dad hunched over the sink with a pan and a brillo pad, scouring that steel into submission with elbow grease that would make him a strong contender in a lumberjack competition.

He did the same with electric stove burner drip pans. My mother never covered hers in aluminum foil because my dad kept them as sparkly as a new nickel. He spent hours making sure those things never looked scorched or rusted.
Naturally, as a young girl with no knowledge of cost, I assumed these things that my dad spent so much time toiling over were valuable and expensive. I figured drip pans must be something we couldn't afford more of, so we had to work hard to keep them nice.

This assumption lasted quite a long time. So long that, in fact, when I moved into my current home 10 years ago, I spent many a day scouring my own drip pans. The stove that came with the house had old drip pans in it, and I tried my hardest to scour them to like new condition. I mean, my husband had just drained his savings to buy us this beautiful house, there was no way I was going to ask for new drip pans too!!

After a few months of trying to clean those old pans, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and put out the money for new pans. I made a trip to Walmart, hoping they'd have the cheapest price on what I was sure was a fairly costly item. I walked down the kitchen aisle and saw some hanging on the rack, the price tag reading..........

.................ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY FOUR CENTS????!?!? ONE DOLLAR AND NINETY FOUR CENTS??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR TWO DRIP PANS???

IS SOMEONE KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW????????

All I can say is that I wanted to take those two drip pans and beat my old man about the ears with them. While my extreme, violent reaction may have been due to the fact that I was newly pregnant and very hormonal, most of it came from my naivety slapping me in the face. Duh Suzanne, it's never about the money with Dad. It's about the pride taken in doing a job right. It's about personal responsibility, cleaning up your own mess with hard work. It's about never taking the easy way out, but building character by experiencing both the pain and the pleasure of maintaining something that you value.

That's my dad...life lessons taught in suds and water.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Untitled from Suzanne Mosley on Vimeo.

Andrew's first Christmas Eve service at Tri-County Bible in Gilbertsville.

Ava's Fashions

Matching Christmas jammies...

Merry Christmas from the Mosleys! #fb

STRETCHY PANTS CHRISTMAS EVE!

Today is the 1st Annual Stretchy Pants Christmas Eve! Shady Maple smorgasbord is the destination. A few days ago it was just a little idea floating around in my head, but at the slightest mention of "football field length Amish buffet", people in my family started foaming at the mouths. I'll forever laugh at how quickly Bethany changed her train schedule so she'd arrive in town in time to join us. She must have lunged for her smartphone in less time than it takes to split your pants at Shady Maple. Even Miss Fancy Pants City Girl can't resist an all-you-can-eat Lancaster County Christmas....

Demons Among Us

So I discovered something last night at the pet store.

Chinchillas freak me out. They just do. Any animal that has the tail of a squirrel, the ears of a rabbit and the body of a guinea pig scares me something fierce. And those folds of furry skin on the backs of their necks that look all armadilloish, I can't even stand it. Do you see what I mean? Those strips of folded fur flesh that look like armadillo plating?? I look at one and all of a sudden I'm jerking my head around violently, expecting zombies to rush at me from a corner because reality has ceased to exist.


You can't walk around looking like that. It's too Wonderland/Inception for me. I start to wonder if I'm dreaming, or if maybe someone spiked my Diet Pepsi with hallucinogens. I can only take animal combos in pairs. Cockapoos, fine. They don't scare me. You take a cocker spaniel and a poodle and breed them. Fine. Cute. Nothing scary about that.

But when you start looking like 3, 4, even 5 other animals put together, I lose my mind. My world starts unraveling at the seams. Time and space seem to have no meaning anymore.

And those eyes. There's something wrong with their eyes. They're way too big for their bodies. It's like they know something. Something will affect you big time. But they're not telling. It's like they know how our race is going to end or something. I just want to grab one by it's stupid armadillo scruff and shout in it's face, "TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW, YOU SON OF A MONKEY'S UNCLE!!!". But I know it would just sit there all smug and squirrelly and not answer me. Because they just don't care.

Don't take me word for it, stop by your local pet store sometime soon and look into the eyes of a chinchilla. Then tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. That is if you can bring yourself to relive the traumatic experience.

Older By The Minute

Wow, only 3 years ago I looked 15 years old. 3 years later and I look 57. These children are aging me faster than any UV rays or nicotine ever could...I don't need sunscreen, I need childscreen.

Miracle At The East Greenville Fire Hall

While the Eagles were racing back from the brink of death on Sunday



(did you see that game??? Somebody needs to take a strap to DeSean's backside!! Where's his momma?), Ava was performing death defying moves of her own at her Christmas dance recital. She's the tall one in the pink skirt.

Look Out!

How can it be.......my firstborn is 9 years old today. Gorgeous, smart, passionate, persuasive, confident, sweet, creative, what doesn't this kid have going for him?? Only his momma knows, and by the time this powerhouse steps into the big world that minor kink will be worked out and the world will be putty in his fingertips.

Oh, I can't wait to sit back and watch.

Ava's Fashions

Ava learned early the 3 key ingredients for a good summer picture; the perfect shade of saturated watermelon red, a big white floppy hat, and a pretty but retarded dog.

You Must Be This _ Tall To Ride This Ride

You're never too little to ride on Grampa Lewis's head, as Baby Landon found out.

What's That On Your Head?

Cole's Thanksgiving party trick. He wanted to get everyone with the helmet on, but only got about halfway around the table before something distracted him.

15 Minutes Of Fame Starts....NOW!

Cole's in the local paper today, the Town And Country. They did a story on the UPV Lego League and their recent competition. Of course, when I told Colson he was going to be in the newspaper, he asked, "Am I going to be on TV too!!!!?!"

Here are some pics of Colson at his first Lego competition.

My Sister Is An Avatar

I ordered a few outfits from Gymboree for Ava. They arrived the other day, and I was having Ava try on the outfits in the kitchen to see if they fit properly. Zachary was watching us, and all of a sudden:

Zach: Ava, you're getting customized!

Me: What do you mean, Zach?

Zach: Well, you know how when you play games, you can choose your character and then choose what it looks like and what color hair it has and what kind of clothes it's wearing. That's called customizing. So right now you're customizing Ava!

Me: .................

Someday someone needs to explain to Zachary the difference between human beings and computer characters.

I also think dressing rooms should now be called "Customization Rooms"....

Gold Bond=Massengill For Shoes

I can't remember exactly what started this conversation, maybe it was the discussion of Ed putting foot powder in his shoes everyday? But at one point, Michael T. said "Do you ever have that not-so-fresh feeling?" I shouted out, "MASSENGILL!!!", and the rest is history. "Mom, do you douche?" was the new catch phrase for the next few hours.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

Zach's Christmas list

Ava's Fashions, Featuring Melissa

Two years ago, my annual Christmas Cocktail party was held on a blustery wintry night. Melissa's husband Michael slid his car into a ditch that night, on the way home to pick her up to come to my house. The tow truck took longer than expected, and they ended up not making it to the party. Around 9pm that night, Melissa sent me an email with this picture, saying she was trying to have a good attitude about not making it to the party, but someone needed to at least appreciate her outfit.

I was so busy that night I didn't get around to showing everyone her picture so they could ooh and aah. So today let's all give Melissa's outfit it's proper due, the ovation it never received.

Littlest Big Momma

Aww, remember when Brianne was the Big Momma? Actually, that witch only gained like 7.5 pounds her entire pregnancy. I carry more than that around in daily waste. Hate her.

Same Wavelength

My brother Andrew and my daughter Ava had this instant message exchange last week that made me laugh out loud. The speed with which Ava responds to Andrew's humor is mind boggling.


Ava: thx for the puzzles

Andrew: youaremostwelcomeIforgottousespacesandperiodscanyoutell

Ava: yesicantellthatthereisnospacesinmineeathercanyoutellihavenopunctuationeather

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my main man.

Can't Get To Heaven On A Lego Robot

Colson's Lego League team had their first competition this past weekend. The competition was very involved; many rounds of presentations, interviews and robot demonstrations. At one point, Cole and his team were taken into a room to be interviewed by the judges. My Dad, who took Cole to the event, wasn't allowed to enter the judging room so he didn't witness what happened. But a very emotional woman walked up to Dad after the interview was over and shared this with him:

Apparently when it was Colson's turn to be interviewed, the judge asked him, "If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?" Colson thought for a moment and answered, very seriously,

"I would want God to come down from heaven and tell everyone about Jesus, so that no one would ever have to go to hell..."

This woman said that the judges were speechless. My dad said the woman was very moved herself when she shared the story. I wish Colson had made a Lego cross with Jesus on it to hold up during his speech...that would have taken it over the edge!

It Was Great, Fuhgettaboutit!!

The amazing wedding reception at Capo's.