Romantic comedies are adult versions of The Wonder Pets.
Every single episode is exactly the same. They each follow the same plot progression. The animals might be a little different, the "trouble" situation might be a little different, the method in which "we have to help them" might be a little different, but the plot/storyline is EXACTLY THE SAME. The celery that they eat at the end might be a little different, but T H E S A M E....
The quintessential romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally, was the only one that ever needed to be made. It was the original and, in my opinion, the ONLY romantic comedy. None that have come since have needed to be made. It's been done, it was great, NOW STOP!
Studio heads sit around and say "Okay, let's do another one. Who should we plug in as Ming-Ming? Kate Hudson? Jennifer Lopez? Katherine Heigel? Okay! Next...who's Tuck? Patrick Dempsey? Matthew McConaughy? Hugh Grant? Okay!
What's the animal in trouble this time? The Best Man is in love with the bride? The guy is a big jerk and offends everyone? They live on opposite sides of the planet and meet as pen pals while children but then lose touch? Okay!
What is going to be the "we have to help them"? The Best Man kisses the bride minutes before she walks down the aisle and she realizes he's the one? The girl leaves the jerky guy in the middle of the night, and he realizes how much he loves her and changes his entire personality to win her back? The guy and girl accidentally bump into each other in Central Park as adults, and spend a year at each other's throats before they realize it's their long lost love? Okay!
The celery for this one? The bride kicks the original groom out, and replaces him with Best Man and they get married? The I-Used-To-Be-An-Ass guy searches high and low and finds the girl who left and begs her to forgive him and they live happily ever after? The long lost pen pals realize that they still love each other after all these years, and move to France to open an art gallery together? Okay!
We have a movie!
Every so often you'll find one that has ONE funny line...like "What is driftwood? It's wood....that drifts..." But that's just coincidence, and one moderately funny line doesn't a great movie make.
Anyone who says to me "Oh, I love 27 Dresses!", or "I love Maid in Manhattan!", just know that in my head the phone, the phone is ringing, and I'm itching to ask to see your driver's license, because I won't be able to believe that you are over the age of 6.
Welcome to Being Suzanne Mosley
*Thinking about it more, they're also like MadLibs. Remember those?
Girl and guy (insert verb). They encounter (insert conflict). Girl decides to (insert adverb)(insert verb) guy. Guy stops (insert annoying habit). Girl forgives him and they (insert romantic cliche).
Tom Hanks with Meg? You have no soul. "Sleepless in Seattle"? "You've Got Mail"?
ReplyDeleteStop being redundant. Once you've seen When Harry Met Sally you've seen them all.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a litter of golden retreiver puppies....maybe one has a slightly longer tail, maybe one has a slightly darker coat, one has a longer snout...BUT ALL GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES LOOK THE SAME. Don't try to point out how different one looks from another one.