Jan Lewis, Deathologist Ph.D.

My mother is now a college graduate.

You know she works at a cemetery, yes? She sells grave plots and caskets and markers, directs funerals, and comforts the bereaved at Limerick Garden of Memories. She's been in the "industry" (insert Amy hand motion) on and off for over 10 years.

She recently had to take some online refresher courses. In true Suzanne style she flew through 6 weeks of courses in something like 4 hours. She recently received her letter stating that she passed.

Dear Janice Lewis,

Dignity University would like to inform you that the following
Certification has been awarded by the Dignity University Board of
Directors:

Associate - Family Service Counselor

Congratulations from all of the staff here at Dignity U! Your certificate
of completion will be awarded to you by your manager in the coming weeks.
Again, congratulations on your efforts in being part of a best-in-class
workforce!

Sincerely,

Dignity University

Dignity University. I can't even stand it. "Where'd you graduate from?" "Dignity U!"

I wonder if they've got a Gravediggers Club. The cheerleaders wear all black and have to cheer in whispers. Grades are handed out carved into headstones. I could go on and on....

And really, doesn't my mother look extremely dignified posing with the mausoleum crypt she's purchased for herself and my father? She's the perfect combo of Vanna White and the Crypt Keeper.