Hamilton Haulers - Andrew (@HamiltonHaulers)
The middle Lewis son, my brother. 40-some years old. Generously hosts this extremely high-maintenance family's football league every year. Compassionate to a fault (or so says Ed).
Mosley Dolphins - Eric Mosley (@ericmoze)
My husband, who is also The Commish of his office's fantasy league. Excessively cute and wickedly smart. That's how he earned his way into this family to begin with.
Sauteed Mules - Suzanne (@shmoozanne74)
Me, dancer extraordinaire, Master of all I see.
RoopDogs - Amy (@lazymom05)
My sister, mother of Nathan, Victoria, Alex and Allyson (also Ashley, who isn't in the league), engaged to Ed. Supplies the amazing trailer park where we hold our draft every Labor Day. And by "supplies", I mean she lives there.
SpecialEd - Ed (@captmongo)
Engaged to my sister Amy, always engaged in lively heated but friendly football related spats with Andrew and EMo. Hater of compassion. This may be why I like him.
A Team Grown In Brooklyn - Bethany (@bethanyglewis)
My niece, ELew's 2nd daughter. Lives in NYC, works at Hearst Publishing, very hip, smart and sarcastic. This is her first year in the league. She joined specifically for the newsletters, so you know they must be good.
Keeping Five Alive - Bonnie (@bonita82)
Elew's oldest daughter, my oldest niece. Mother of 5 cute rugrats, surprisingly relaxed and funny. Turned out to be a major contender in last year's league! Who knew??
Golden Knights - Alex (? is he on twitter?)
Amy's younger son. Jack of all trades, master in his own mind. My son Zach's favorite cousin, "You know Mom, I like that one that works at Chili's..." Falsely accused of getting fired from his job for smelling bad. Sometimes flakes out on setting his lineup due to
Emmaus Smytherines - Jeff (@smythie86)
Brooke's husband. EMo's co-worker. Linux lover...if I were 5 I'd accuse him of wanting to marry Linux. Sounds like a wild animal when puking.
DaDogg Pound - Nathan (@NateRupp)
Amy's oldest son, following in her bartending footsteps in NYC. Provided the family with arguably the best story of all time. Wearer of natty outfits. Is looking up the meaning of the word "natty" right now.
No Punt Intended - Brooke (@schnookers715)
Bonnie and Bethany's younger sister. Married to Jeff. Has been called Mary Poppins on many occasions. Pretends to be nice to old men for pay. Could probably do more push ups than you.
Team Jacob - Victoria (@vrupple)
Amy's middle daughter. Has been known to hire male escorts for family functions. Is in the process of faking her way through college. Sings a mean version of Hallelujah. Is a self-taught hair braiding expert.
Middletown All Stars - Christopher (way too young for Twitter! ;)
Bonnie's oldest son, this is his first year in the league. As a baseball All-Star, he knows a bit about how to win games. We all need to look out for this underage GM.
Little Rupp - Allyson (way too high school for Twitter! ;)
Amy's youngest daughter, Victoria's sister. With her assets, you wonder why she doesn't do better in a fantasy league. Is trying to take over her brother's status as Zach's favorite Chili's cousin.
And there you have it. The list of the Lewis Family fantasy football teams. Now the newsletters might make a tad more sense. If you need clarification, just ask. Refer back to this post if needed for future newsletters.
Following is the first installment of the newsletter, the Week 1 Preview:
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Thus ... we give you ... the brand spankin' new ... LFC 2010 Week 1 PREVIEW:
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LEWIS FAMILY CHALLENGE
GAME OF THE WEEK:
"Dolphins @ SpecialEd"
* Both of these teams feature the game's smartest general managers, proven winners that keep their franchises in championship form year in and year out. Except for 2009. The Dolphins and Special Ed both suffered uncharacteristic losing streaks to close out last season. The memory of those losses will still be fresh in their minds as they take the field this weekend. The Dolphins feature some of the game's most exciting offensive players, in Brady, Owens, Sims-Walker, Driver, Clark - but they're nursing camp dings and bruises ... Meanwhile Special Ed's starting lineup is primed and ready for the season to kickoff - Jackson, Forte, Knox, and Schaub will all feature prominently in this team's scoring. PREDICTION: SpecialEd by 12pts
GAMES TO KEEP AN EYE ON:
Haulers @ Sauteed Mules
* These two teams were at the top of the standings all season long and there is no reason to think we won't see more of the same in 2010. This is definitely a statement game for these two franchises - who will start off this new season with a resounding victory over a playoff contender?
Smytherines @ DaDogg Pound
* The Pounders were the league's checkout counter for wins/points last season as teams cued up for a chance at a free win and an opportunity to run up the scoreboard. "Those days are over," says our source from the DaDogg offices. If that's true, they got heck of a game to prove it - as they line up against one of last season's toughest teams, the Smytherines - recently moved from the Virginia mountains to the Pennsylvania foothills of the Lehigh Valley. The Pounders have placed their 2010 hopes on RB Chris Johnson (the league's #1 overall pick). You can bet they're praying the injury plinko disk doesn't land on him.
BEST OF THE REST:
roop dogs @ a team grows in brooklyn
* The BK horticulturists are one of the league's new franchises - and their first match is a tough one, a perennial playoff contender in the roop dogs. This will be a great test for the tree-huggers.
Keeping Five Alive @ Golden Knights
* GM of the Year, Bonnie Johnson, has assembled an impressive starting roster and kicks off her 2010 season against one of last season's floormats, the Golden Knights. The vortex that was the 2009 season put down not only the Pounders, but also the once mighty Knights. Its a new season and with their high draft picks, the Knights have a chance to prove last season was a fluke.
No Punt Intended @ team jacob
* "Its a cat fight!" - The feline hairballs will be flying in this matchup - between the trans-formative jacobites and the newly declawed Intenders. The jacobians are another one of the league's new franchises for 2010 and they've been served a nice manageable portion for their first venture into this realm we call "The Challenge".
All Stars @ littlerupp
* The AllStars are the last of our newest teams and they get a cakewalk for their first game in the league. The littlerupp is a franchise in disarray, although their management insists they've spent the off-season in team-building exercises, sensitivity focus re-entrenchment contiguous disciplines, and creative macrame. All with the goal of doubling their win total from last season.
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