Absolutes Never Stand In This House

Zach: Dad, are lima beans a fruit?

Eric: No, they're a vegetable. Anything with "bean" in the name is a vegetable.

Ava: (yelling from the other room) Uh, jelly beans???

More from the expressionista.

Cole got in trouble last night. I found this drawing in his room after he fell asleep.

Monday Mornings With Zachary

What Zach wants to be when he grows up, and other fun tidbits as he chats with me while I'm in the bathtub.

Which Aunt's Bread Do I Butter?

An instant message chat between my sister and my daughter, in which my sister makes sure my daughter knows the Relative Ranking System.


me: hello aunt

Amy: hello #5 neice

me: i could me #1

Amy: how?

me: (if i was your favorite)...
:):)

Amy: well of course you are a favorite
you know why?
because your mom is my only sister!!!!!

me: :):)

Amy: so that makes you special!!

me: but i still have another aunt you know...2

Amy: i know....

me: kathy and sue
right
?

Amy: yes
but they are aunts by 'marraige'
i am an aunt by 'blood'
do you know the difference?

me: yes... i have uncles that are married and that's could be not my aunt and another lady could be but if my mom is my mom then you have to be my aunt

Amy: your other aunts are married to your 'blood uncles; -- and i am your aunt because i am blood related to your mom

me: i know
:):)

Amy: your uncles will always be your uncles
Sue/kathy if the get divorced wont be your aunts anymore

me: i know......................yeah...Ed too??

Amy: ed is your uncle - but your uncle 'by marraige'
he is not 'blood related;
make sense?

me: uh huh

Amy: smart girl

me: :):)

Amy: and i am a smart aunt

me: sure
:P
bye

Zach's Awana Face

During the Awana closing program they show a slideshow of pictures from that year. I always love these pictures, because I didn't take them. It's fun to see pictures of your kids in places that you aren't and with expressions you don't always get to see.

My Blog Post, In A Dress

The other day the kids and I were at Chili's having lunch with Melissa and her kids. Gavin and Colson were sitting by themselves at another table, building castles with coasters and salt shakers and then throwing sugar packet "bombs" at the other's castle, scoring points when they'd breach a wall. Ava and Sophia were at our table, drawing. Ava was asking Melissa and I what she should draw, we'd give her an idea and she'd draw it. After we'd given her some ideas like "Dancing vegetables",

"An elephant doing ballet",

and, "Melissa wearing a bathing suit and teaching a class",

Ava decided to draw one of her own ideas. She drew, "those wind up teeth",

and then things started to get really funny. I should mention that when we get all the kids together, Ava's favorite thing is to subtly tease Gavin, Melissa's oldest son (he's 12). Ava loves to try to get him to laugh by doing things that could be taken as slightly mean, but she does it with a cute little giggle. So she started drawing a picture, and she was giggling to herself the whole time. Finally she showed it to us:

She said, "It's me and Sophia and Zachary, and we're all happy. But Colson and Gavin are mad because they're wearing dresses!!!" She couldn't stop laughing while she said all that. Melissa and I were cracking up (how can you not? Look at Gavin and Cole, they have their hands on their hips and expressions on their faces like "Who the heck drew these stupid dresses on us???"), and Ava decided to take it over to show Colson and Gavin. They rolled their eyes at her, but she was giggling so hard I thought she was going to choke. She came back to our table and started drawing furiously again. She was whispering to Sophia, "This one is SO BAD!!" We made her show it to us, and it was this:

"It's Cole and Gavin getting married to each other!!" *tee hee hee hee hee hee!!!!* Melissa and I spit out our Diet Pepsi, we laughed so hard. Colson's dress with the puffed sleeve put it over the edge. Well, Ava ran it over and paraded it in front of Gavin and Cole. She was doubled over and could barely breathe at how funny she thought this picture was. She returned to our table, and grabbed the pad of paper. Next came this hysterical one: Gavin, who is in reality a huge football star, playing football in a dress:

Then we got Colson playing piano in a dress:

I have to give Gavin all the credit in the world. He was a great sport about it all. Colson is used to it, he barely blinked when Ava shoved these drawings in his face. He gets it at home all the time. But Gavin has probably never experienced someone drawing pictures of him in a dress before. And he took it like a man, just rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

Gavin started telling us all that he and his best friend wanted to be a banana and a gorilla, respectively, for Halloween, and go out in the neighborhood together as such. So Ava drew this picture of G and HF. When asked who HF was, she says, "His Friend!"

Then she said, "I'm going to draw Gavin as a banana in his dream world", (cause that's a normal thing to draw), and drew the next two pictures.

She was on a roll that day. It's so entertaining when my naturally introverted daughter feels comfortable enough to put it all out there, because she's wicked funny.